Understanding Early Childhood Development
When your toddler is emptying out your cupboards, mixing her water into her cereal or climbing up the towel railing, you might get really irritated (read: enraged).
This is why it’s so helpful to get some basic concepts of developmental stages into our parenting repertoire! It will help us to see their behavior for what it really is, and not project onto them some devilish motivation to ruin our laundry and destroy the carpet.
Understanding Schemas, as explained in the video above, helps us to see that our children are interested in exploring certain themes that are developmentally vital, and they’re simply using the materials at hand to make those explorations. Instead of forbidding an activity, punishing or distracting – we can creatively find ways for our children’s learning needs to be met whilst also protecting the baby (cat, rugs, our sanity…).
Which schema does the urge to hit fall into? My 18mo not only smacks his older sister, but also lives holding spatulas, vacuum extension tubes, utencils, paint brushes, toy hammer/screwdriver, recorder… And going around hitting things with them. The wall, furniture, his sister, the floor, windows… I see he often pauses and intones a question with his item of choice at the ready, waiting for me to tell him if that surface is or isn’t appropriate for hitting. I oblige and direct him to what he can hit, but he still managed to hit inappropriate surfaces (or his sister) every day. Even though he has available toys meant to be pounded on, he seems to be exploring. I want to respect that and give him the chance to explore within appropriate limits but I’m unclear on how to do so. I give him warnings not to hit certain things again or i take the item away, and then i follow through. He cries, we move on. But it feels like an ongoing battle. I thought one of these schemas would enlighten me, but i don’t see a good fit.
Karolina, if it helps my brother used to bang, hit and break everything and he is now a builder and makes loads of money. It’s normal for him to be impulsive though and will take time and maybe some humour to redirect hitting sister etc. I am in same boat