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Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

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Be a Scary Mommy this Halloween.

Or actually, don’t.

Confused?

Understandable.

First, let’s talk about these scary mom costumes.

We’ve all been these characters, at one time or another.

No, not a sexy pirate.

Or Spongebob. (Was that just me?)

But actual, real scary moms.

Real moms, who, with the best intentions, set out to make Halloween fun and meaningful and, well…get lost along the way. Instead, opting to let their fears and anxieties lead the way.

See if any of these are in your closet.

 

1. Anxious Crunchy Mama

What you need:

✔️ Vegan leather headband
✔️ Coconut oil
✔️ Inordinate knowledge of food ingredients, food additives, and chemicals.

How to pull this off: Don your pleather headband, grease yourself in coconut oil, and get extra freaked about Halloween candy. Read the ingredients in an extra loud shrill voice for added bonus.

2. Crazy Pinterest Mom

What you need:

✔️ Bags under your eyes.
✔️ Frizzy hair.
✔️ Coffee stains on shirt.
✔️ Bloody hands from needle pricks.

(Ok, this may be a stretch. I don’t know. Confession: I’ve never actually hand-sewn anything except a pillow in the 10th grade. But this is what I imagine. Bloody shredded hands.)

How to pull this one off: Basically you just give up on sleep, basic self-care, hydration, your relationship with kids, and time with your husband.

Why? Because Store Bought Costumes = #lazyparent

3. Mr. Dodgers. (Mr. Rodgers alter ego)

Listen: The Johnson’s? They’re just your neighbors every OTHER day of the year.

But on Halloween?

They’re downright dangerous.

Child predators. Kidnappers. Candy poisoners.

Avoid them. Warn your kids. And for heaven’s sake, don’t let them eat homemade treats.

What you need:

✔️ General distrust of the community and people

How to pull this one off: Follow your kids around on Halloween, and don’t let them out of your sight.

4. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

Know what really scares your kids?

Inconsistency?

What you need:
✔️ A game face: say what you mean and mean what you say.
✔️ But also a certain degree of indecision and uncertainty in the face of persistence.

How to pull this one off: Start with a strong dislike for candy. Followed by a strong inability to deal with incessant requests for candy. And then lastly follow up with an inconsistent, and at times, hysterical and wild approach to candy.

No more candy today!
Ok fine. One more piece. But that’s it.
No more candy today!

I’ll give you one more piece of candy, if you eat your dinner.
NO! I said no more candy!

You get the idea.

And lastly, bonus tip.

Bonus: A Jimmy Kimmel Pranking Arse.

Deliver more tricks this year by pulling pranks on your kids. Jimmy Kimmel, I’m talking to you.

Tricks that they don’t understand. Pranks that humiliate them.  Jokes you can then post about in order to gain “likes” and popularity on your social media.

What you will need:
✔️ A phone (to record the humiliation of your kids, of course).
✔️ A lack of understanding that kids are human beings with memories and feelings and emotions and rights.
✔️ Ability to laugh at other people’s expense.

How to pull this one off: First, hide the bowl of Halloween candy. Then tell your kids you ate it. All of it. While they were sleeping. Record your kids reaction. Zoom in on those tears, mama. Then post to social media. Become the scariest social media sensation on Instagram!

Too far?

I think so.

Don’t be a Pranking Parent.

It’s not funny to take advantage of the trust in a relationship and manipulate it.

As far as the rest of these costumes? They’re driven by Fears and Anxieties. Every one of them. Fear that candy will result in explosive behaviors and cavities. Fear that your daughter’s holiday won’t be magical if you don’t craft the perfect costume. Fear of being too strict with candy. Fear of your neighbors.

Yes, Halloween is about being scared, but let’s not let fear run the show. OK?

Let me tell you, parenting from a place of fear, like eye bags, is never a good look.

And the most likely thing to suffer is the relationship with your kids.

Here’s the deal. Halloween is supposed to be fun. Do YOURSELF and your kids a favor and leave the scary costumes (and fear) in the closet.

The point of the holiday activity is joy. Whether it’s pumpkin carving, baking, decorating, costumes, trick-or-treating, or themed activities: the POINT is to enjoy the ACT of the endeavor, not to have a Pinterest-ready holiday. If you’re not enjoying it, then don’t do it.

It’s that simple.

Practice relentlessly asking yourself: Is this bringing me joy? And if it's not? Stop. #halloween. #everyholiday #simplifyholidays via @ParentingJunkieTweet This

Practice relentlessly asking yourself: Is this bringing me joy?

And if it’s not? Stop.

Here’s another costume idea to try instead: Elsa.

Oh no you didn’t….

Yep. Elsa. Be like every other 6 year old girl on Halloween and go full on Frozen.

And then LET. IT. GO.

Relax a bit on the candy. If you are losing your ability to maintain peace in your home because of the stress and anxiety about candy, then channel your inner Elsa and: Let It Go.

Seriously.

As Marie Antoinette once famously said “Let them eat candy.” Or something like that?

But she has a point. Stop stressing, and let them eat the dang sugar.

If stressing about a Halloween costume is causing you to lose sleep, patience, or peace in your home: Let It Go. Your kids will remember the fun, laughter, joy, and connection with family and friends on Halloween. Not the costume.

Don’t believe me? Tell me, what were you on Halloween at age 7?

Be like every other American Family and go buy one from Amazon Prime the week before.

Worried about your kids roaming the neighborhood by themselves? Anxieties setting in? Envisioning stolen children? Let that one go too.

Listen, kids are safer now than ever before. Take a deep breath, and remember…

The fears that once controlled you….can’t get to you at all….

Tell me in the comments: Have you ever worn one of these costumes? What are you willing to let go this year? 

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1 comments

One Reply to “Be a Scary Mommy this Halloween.”

  1. Dear Avital,
    We are struggeling with sugar and candy at home…sometimes. But I know that it’s not good to “fight”. So how can I just let it go? How do you deal with this Content at your home ? Can you give some advice in general?

    I Love your work and what you do to me and my family.

    Valentina

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