How to attract a life you love
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Have you heard of the Law of Attraction? It’s something that I intuitively connect to and practice in my life. I find the law of attraction helps me reach my goals easier and faster, and maybe it will work for you too!
When I refer to the law of attraction, what I mean is basically that we create our realities with our thoughts. The main idea is to focus on what you DO want, not on what you DON’T. It’s really that simple. People dress it up in lots of spiritual-talk – but ultimately, this idea makes a ton of sense even without all that jazz.
When you focus on the things you want, your brain becomes primed to find more evidence for, and more opportunities for, the things you want more of.
You stop fixating on everything that’s going wrong and start obsessing over the blessings in your life.
Whether it “works” or not, it’s a more pleasant way to go through life!
Here’s how I use the law of attraction to create a life that I love, and I invite you to do the same!
- Get clear on what you want [05:30]
To create a life you love, you have to get incredibly clear on what you want. In my membership, Present Play, we dedicate entire months to creating culture, creating vision and creating wisdom. It’s simple: if you want to have a deliberate, intentional family life that you craft and design for yourself, you need to be clear on your vision. You need to know what kind of home you want to live in, what kind of food you want to eat, what experiences you want to have, how big you want your family to be, what kind of relationships you want to foster, and what kind of work you want to do. Otherwise, you will simply attract whatever is default in your life. Often, that comes from the two major default influences in our lives: our original family and the culture at large. Really consider, what are the things you’re seeing around you that you’re attracted to? Often, we notice all the things we don’t want, and the law of attraction says that you’re actually attracting those things to you because you’re focusing on them. Like attracts like. Therefore, you need to continually reorient your thoughts onto the things that you do want more of — I want health. I want abundance. I want close family relationships.
- Focus on what you want [08:55]
Once you know exactly what you want, the next step is to really focus on those things and imagine what it would be like to live that life. What would it be like to be that type of parent, to have that type of relationship or home or family vacation or experience. Really fantasize about it and feel as though it’s already a part of you. What would it feel like in your body to have that thing that you want, or to be that way that you want to be? It’s like an alter ego or a mask you wear until it becomes your real face. If I want to be a more patient mom, then I focus on that and feel what it feels like in my body to be calm, loving and nurturing. As I focus on that, it becomes something that is being attracted to me almost magnetically. You become so aware of what it would feel like that it becomes central to who you are.
- Ignore what you don’t want [10:01]
Remember, you’re attracting things to you whether you want them in your life or not, simply by focusing your energy and attention on them. If you’re constantly focusing on the tantrums, the sleepless nights, the frictions in your marriage, or the financial stress, you’re attracting more of those things into your life. So when you notice things you don’t like, the next step is to reorient your focus and attention onto things that you do enjoy. We all have a negativity bias and are naturally inclined to focus on the negative. So this takes tremendous effort, but it is so rewarding. When you focus on what you do have, it really does attract more and more evidence all the great things that are in your life. This doesn’t mean that we ignore problems, but rather we reorient ourselves to focus on the solution. What do you appreciate about your kids? What do you love about your husband right now? Maybe you tell yourself, “My husband’s driving me crazy right now, but he’s so loyal.” When people feel like we see them in a positive light and hold that goodness to light, they’re more likely to emphasize those aspects of their character. It’s basic psychology and it works like a charm.
- Practice gratitude [14:41]
The next step is to give a lot of gratitude and thanks for the things that you are already loving in your life and in your family. Show your children, your partner, and yourself how grateful you are for the things that are working. “I’m so grateful that we sit down to meals together” or “I’m so grateful that we spend time in nature” or even, “It’s so wonderful that we have running water and indoor plumbing.” What are you grateful for? What are you loving in your life right now? Continuously reorient towards that, focus on it and start attracting more of it into your life.
- Elevate your expectations [15:16]
Finally, I want to talk about high expectations. Many people catastrophize and expect the worst out of life. There is a sense that things are getting worse or things aren’t the way they should be. It’s true that people are suffering in wars and poverty. When we focus on those things, as true as they may be, it’s easy to think that everything is terrible and falling apart. Some people even feel that if they enjoy their life, then they are ignoring or contributing to the pain in the world. My grandma was a Holocaust survivor. Many of her family members were murdered, including her parents. She was a penniless refugee who didn’t speak the language and was severely traumatized. Yet, she’s the most positive person I know. She’s always in a mindset of gratitude and doesn’t take anything for granted. So, I don’t see optimism as being at odds at all with compassion, empathy and working to make changes in the world. In fact, I believe the more gratitude we bring, the more we uplift others. A rising tide elevates all ships. When you have a positive mindset, you stop adding to the suffering in the world. Rather, you become someone who creates a healthy family dynamic, and that ripple effect goes out into the world.
Two people can live in the exact same life, but because of their focus, they see it completely different from one another. If you have the choice, why not choose to make the supreme focus of your life one of gratitude, joy, pleasure, trust, compassion, empathy and belief in yourself and in the world as an overall good place?
I’ll leave you with this beautiful quote from Rumi that says, “Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.” That quote basically sums up the energy of the law of attraction. Seeing everything is happening for you, seeing everything as blessings, noticing how everything is organizing to bring you greater joy and fulfillment.
If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about your biggest takeaway. Leave a comment below or join me on Instagram @parentingjunkie!