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Marie Forleo introduction

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I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

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How to Create a High Vibe Home

JOIN THE RECLAIM PLAY CHALLENGE

When you’re home with young children it can sometimes feel so overwhelming and stressful. Messes, noise, nagging, whining, and tantrums are inevitable. Maybe you’re getting less sleep at night, and during the day there’s certainly more caregiving than if you were on your own. With all that’s going on, you can start to feel like you want to escape from your own home.

I work from home with four young kids (soon to be five), and I completely get just how much it takes to run your life well, take care of little ones,  and have time for self-care. 

I believe that if you want to create a family life that you truly love, then you should make it as pleasurable as possible. Not only does this help you be the best version of yourself for your little ones, but it will also just make life more enjoyable. When we experience enjoyment we’re less edgy,  less likely to spiral into emotional downturns, and less likely to want to escape!

It’s my belief that we should take every possible step to make our time, and space reflects pleasure, joy, love, fun, beauty, and all of that good stuff.

10 Ways to Create a Great Atmosphere at Home

  1. Plants – There’s ample research to show that any kind of exposure to nature, be it going into the forest or desert, or just having a plant in a room – makes us feel happy, calmer, improves the oxygen flow, etc.  There’s even been research done in hospitals where they found that the patients who had a room where they were exposed to a tree vs. a brick wall, tended to have a significantly quicker recovery time post operation! Adding plants is timelessly chic, looks great in any room, and is a nice pop of color that isn’t going to detract from neutral tones or take away from the calmness.
  2. Music – Play that type of music that you love. It is something that affects us on a subconscious level – so playing music that we loved when we were younger, meditation music, etc. can be an instant mood shift. Music changes the atmosphere of the home very quickly. It can calm our kids down, energize them, help them tidy up, and just be a powerful non-verbal cue for the type of behavior and mood we’re trying to elicit.
  3. Aroma – The next subconscious way that we communicate with the world is through scents.  If we’re smelling poopy diapers, sanitizer, and doing dishes all day – those smells can really even repulse us and make us feel the need to escape. Pleasurable aromas can come from diffusing essential oils, burning incense, wearing perfume, or baking.
  4. Clear Surfaces – This one can take a bit of extra work, but is well worth the effort. Smooth surfaces visually signify order. If our eyes are drawn to these surfaces, and can provide a feeling of calm. Whereas if you walk in and every surface is cluttered, it can be an instant cortisol spike. After you eat, clear the table every time. After you cook, clean the countertops. Make sure the tops of dressers are clear, the bathroom cabinetry, and the bathroom sinks remain clear except for the things that stay there like the soap dispenser or a candle. This will show yourself that there’s a sense of order in the home. Even if you can’t get to that mess right now, put the clutter somewhere that’s covered so you can see the flat surfaces, and feel some instant calm. Kind of like if guests were coming over, you’d likely clean up a little bit and at least hide some clutter. Treat yourself as you would a guest, and show yourself you’re worth it. Get your children used to tidying up so it doesn’t feel like so much upkeep. My children are asked repeatedly to clear their own plates, hang up their own coats, pick up their books, and put them back on the shelf etc. even if I have to call them back from a different room to do it. This is a long-term investment for me!
  5. Words of Affirmation – Display words that reflect your values, or make you feel good. These are subconscious primers that influence our behavior. Having a word like “hustle” may actually make you feel a little agitated.  How can you have words that actually prime you, and guide you to embody what you’d like to? For example, “good vibes,” or “love.” In my Present Play membership, our values are “Presence, Peace, and Play” so I’ve actually had an artistic canvas made with these words on them. I also have a goal to read every day to my kids, so I have the word “read” on the wall by our bookshelf. Words can goal post a certain area in this way, like “create” for the art area, or “family” for the dining room. 
  6. Family Photos – There’s something so powerful about seeing yourselves at your best, or at your funniest, having a good time. You could have a digital photo frame that rotates them. You could actually frame and hang up your photos, or display multiple albums. You could almost think of this as a lookbook or a branding for your family! They can remind you of why you’re a family, who you are, and what you’re doing in the world. 
  7. Neutral Colors – There are so many color theories out there. Like all of these tips, it’s all about your own taste. A lot of people go for very bright primary colors for kids’ spaces thought, and most (not all) people respond with a heightened sense of nervous system alert to bright colors. In the wild, colors like red and yellow can signal danger like a poisonous animal, so in terms of evolution that makes sense! In our culture it’s the same – think of a traffic light. So for children, we might think primary colors attract them but they don’t actually help them to play deeply being so stimulating.
  8. Lighting – This is similar to colors in that it really affects our nervous system through visual experience. Bright, fluorescent, LED or bluish lights can be pretty harsh. It’s one of the reasons that basement playrooms are actually not the best. Research shows that most people feel much better in natural light, whereas fluorescent light increases cortisol. It’s too bad that’s what usually in schools! Consider removing dressing from the windows, and spending time in spaces where there’s natural light. Open doors if you can, and when you do need lighting – consider warmer lighting, nightlights, Himalayan salt lamps, and apps that block the blue light from screens – especially if you need to use these within an hour or two of bedtime.
  9. Beautiful Objects – I think sometimes we have a super utilitarian approach to the decor when we have kids, being super functional and not thinking so much about the esthetic. However, we can really be choosy! Before buying a kitchen utensil, we can consider if we also think it’s beautiful.  A bundle of sticks from the forest can add beauty. We don’t have to buy anything –  in fact, usually decluttering usually helps so that what’s left are the things we find beautiful and useful. Double whammy. Each item we use – makes a difference to whether or not we feel like escaping! Making oatmeal and putting it in a bowl you think is ugly, vs a simple bowl you think is beautiful, really makes a difference to that moment! These moments add up. Often we hide our beautiful objects behind cupboards or save them for special occasions, which makes sense. Perhaps there’s a way to keep them around us – by displaying them up high or teaching kids how to respect them. Shop in your own home for the things that make you feel good, and perhaps set up a little ritualistic space for yourself. Have things that are wipable, not breakable, washable, etc. that you can still enjoy now. We don’t have to wait ’til they’re older to replace everything and have beautiful things.
  10. Comfortable Pieces – Invest in making your home work for you, ergonomically so that you’re physically comfortable. For example, switching an uncomfortable office chair for a yoga ball, or putting a bolstered pillow in your bed where you breastfeed, as I did for example. Then also think about how to make your home work for you by having enough hooks accessible to children so they can hang up their own towels and coats, or putting extra shelving or laundry baskets where things tend to accumulate. The physical comfort and functionality of your home are going to increase your joy and decrease your overwhelm. 

To conclude, be in a space that really supports you and is a great atmosphere! How would you set your home up for an Airbnb guest? Treat yourself as you would an important guest! Get your pleasures through all your senses! Your home is like the vision board for the life you want to live.

JOIN THE RECLAIM PLAY CHALLENGE

What are your tips for creating a great atmosphere at home? Let us know in the comments below.

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COME FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM!

Imagine that instead of brushing your kid’s teeth every day, you decided to wait until they’re 16. ⁣

The side effects of this choice would be…⁣
😝 Bad breath⁣
😬 Plaque build-up and discoloration⁣
🦷 Toothaches and cavities… ⁣
and eventually, BIG $$$$$ at the dentist for treatment.⁣

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!⁣
Of course, this is not a good plan!⁣

I'm going to assume you would rather create a small, manageable daily habit that invests in our child’s oral hygiene to last a lifetime.⁣

Because we know: ⁣
It might be a pain to get started and stay consistent, but over the long haul, it will save you so much pain, $$$, and grossness.🤢⁣

And it's the same with, independence.⁣

If you invest a little bit in your child’s independent play right now - taking small, manageable steps every day to maintain and establish healthy habits - you will reap the benefits over time.⁣

A tough-love moment here - it’s not realistic to wait until your child is 16 and then suddenly expect them to be independent enough to drive or get their first job or figure out a plan for the summer.⁣

These are skills you’ve got to build slowly and gradually.⁣

It’s also not desirable to spend the next decade suffering through burnout, exhaustion, clinginess - because you’re not making the little investment that it takes to establish healthy independent play habits (just as it’s not awesome to endure cavities, toothache, and bad breath for years - rather than invest in establishing healthy brushing habits early on).⁣

So I guess my message is: Don’t wait with this. ⁣
When we neglect our child’s need for independence - it gets worse, not better.⁣

But when you take the time to follow along with the small, daily, doable actions that are outlined in the Reclaim Play Challenge - it will pay off in spades years later! ⁣

That’s why you’re here.⁣

You can do this. 💪⁣

It’s SO worth it. The small actions you’re taking now are going to pay back dividends... forever.⁣

Reclaim Play is all unlocked! Link in bio
...

“𝗗𝗿𝗮𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗲!” my daughter said. Not gonna lie, I draw a mean horse. 🐎 So I did. She watched me, wide-eyed, so impressed. So excited. So grateful! A beautiful moment, right?⁣

I thought so. “𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘈𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭!” I thought, patting myself on the back.⁣

After she colored it in she said: “𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘄?” 🧜‍♀️ ⁣

“𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘸 𝘪𝘵, 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦?”⁣

“𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘄 𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂.”⁣

oomph.⁣

My heart sunk just a little bit. 😟⁣

In my well-meaning attempt to answer my daughter’s sweet request - I had undermined her own creativity. ⁣

I had shown her that I, the adult, was more developed, more skilled, more capable - so much so that she might as well not even try. ⁣

Why try when she could never measure up to the mermaid that I can produce? ⁣

Look, it’s not a big deal. I’ll still draw for my kids from time to time - but I really try not to. ⁣

I try to say, 'No', to playing with them or for them - because I want to say, 'Yes', to something else...⁣

I want to say YES to their: ⁣
❤ Creativity⁣
❤ Independence⁣
❤ Personal Satisfaction⁣
❤ Development⁣
❤ Resilience⁣
❤ Problem-solving⁣
❤ Focus⁣
❤ Attention⁣
❤ Concentration⁣
❤ Inner World⁣

I want to step out of the way of THEIR self-expression, curiosity, exploration. And as an adult, if I interject myself (even if they’re begging me to!), I’m totally likely to overshadow and overpower - even with all my best intentions!⁣

So, my friend, if you ever feel guilty for letting your kids play independently, for saying “no”, stepping away, or becoming less involved, know this:⁣

𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝗯𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁!⁣

We owe it to them.⁣

I hope this is a liberating thought for you, as it was for me. ⁣

#reclaimplay #independentplay⁣
#childhoodunplugged #motherhoodthroughinstagram #letthembelittle #playpandemic #presentplay #intentionalmotherhood #intentionalparenting #loveparenting #enjoyparenting #parenthood #parentingwisdom #childdevelopment #playisimportant #playislearning #playisachildswork #independencebaby #toddlerdrawings #toddlerdrawing
...

Want results like Stephanie? Want to look back in a few years and think: I did it! I became the parent I knew I could be and showed up for my kids’ childhood.

Then I hope you’re taking the first (tiny, easy, doable!) baby step and follow along with Week 1 of the challenge! *Simplify*

Do you believe your kids are capable? Do you believe you’re capable?

Remember: “Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t: you’re right.” (FREE www.theparentingjunkie.com/challenge) #reclaimplay #presentplay
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4 comments

4 Replies to “10 Ways To Create a Great Atmosphere at Home”

  1. Would love to know where to get those beautiful plastic plates! 🙂 Have also got my eye on that gorgeous grey laundry tote…where would one find one of those! 😉 Thanks!

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