Are Moms Better than Dads?
Please, I have a question and wanted to have your opinion. Are we moms somehow entitled to take some decisions in regards ours kids over their fathers? I have trusted my intuition and my gut since he was in my belly can I somehow appeal to that? 🙂
Firstly many moms become moms through surrogacy or adoption and do not go through pregnancy and labor or breastfeeding. Does this mean their connection to their children, their intuition, is any less visceral or powerful? No.
Each one of us sees our children and connects to them in a unique way – and in a way that is influenced by our cultural conditioning, our personal temperament, our genes, our family legacy, our inter generational baggage, our beliefs, thoughts and opinions. In other words we are not divided into either men or women, we are each a unique set of complex algorithms that give us our parental intuition.
Men have been shortchanged in the parenting game for millennia, but the good news is that recent decades and the feminist revolution have seen some upswing in paternal power. Throughout history – men were often seen as the breadwinners and the disciplinarians. They were good for getting a woman pregnant, providing for her and her offspring, and dispensing the occasional spanking, giving meaning to the maternal threat “just wait until your father gets home.”
Today we know much better and are starting to do better by men, women and their children. We know that each father has his own blend of paternal instinct, style and intuition. And disempowering that by holding claim to your “right” as a mother to your intuition, is a surefire way to put your man on the defensive, and to push him to withdraw from his parental intuition. How can he compete with “I grew this child in my belly?!”
Whilst as mothers who have carried children we may have some strong physical, emotional and hormonal ties to our children – we must also acknowledge that these can both serve us, and cloud us. It is not uncommon for fathers to have a far more pragmatic, trusting and grounded approach to raising their offspring.
Fathers are important. They tend to push their children’s independence both physically and emotionally in ways that mothers do not – the classic rough housing, or camp outs are good examples of ways that fathers help children’s development in places where mothers typically stifle them.
- As a couple, you don’t want to be in a position where you’re vying for power over who’s children these are. Over who’s right it is to have the final word. Over who is more connected, more knowledgeable or more intuitive. These types of power struggles between parents are directly in opposition to a parenting together, in love, approach – which is what I teach.
Not on the same page with your partner?
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Give Megan a LOVE in the comments if relate to feeling out of sync with your partner on your peaceful parenting journey. SO THAT I will know if you want me to make more content like this.