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I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

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How we can impart our religious beliefs, ethics and expectations, WITHOUT being controlling… and whether that’s even possible

In this episode we’re going to talk about religion…religious practices, faith, communities…and all the complexities that come with it. People often ask me about how they can combine their passion and commitment to parenting from a loving and respectful place with their commitment to their faith. It’s a tough but important question to answer. And this doesn’t apply to just organized religion; it’s applicable to any sort of belief system or way of life (like veganism, atheism, or any of the other “isms”). 

  • [4:08] How do we get our children to adopt our belief system without controlling or manipulating? 
  • [6:20] Dr. Shefali shares her thoughts on religion and parenting.
  • [11:44] Those raised in a religious home often feel obligated to “carry the torch”. 
  • [15:15] Any religion, belief, or way of life can come from a place of love or fear. 
  • [16:59] Trying to force others into our beliefs is a sign of insecurity. 
  • [18:09] Others raised in a religious home completely abandon their faith as they come of age.
  • [19:25] It doesn’t have to be “all-or-nothing”. We can throw out what doesn’t serve us and keep what does.
  • [23:06] Use critical thinking and discernment.
  • [24:34] Check our motives; are we doing (or not doing) something because we’re afraid of what others might think or say? 
  • [26:22] Do our beliefs make us separatists?
  • [27:41] Is there duality in our beliefs? 
  • [29:41] We should share our beliefs with our children and give them space to explore and make their own interpretations. 
  • [30:15] Instead of forcing, controlling, or manipulating religious activity, let’s inspire it.
  • [33:20] Try to create positive interactions. Make the positive to negative ratio 5:1.

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7 Replies to “TPJ 36: Atheism and Spirituality (feat. Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s take on religion)”

    1. Hey Candy! Judaism is a first reference both for Dr. Shefali and I because we are both Jewish. I personally said in the podcast how I love my religion, tribe, and faith and look to inspire my children in its wisdom and spirituality… so I’m not sure how you got “antisemitism” from this? The point of Dr. Shefali’s words, in the way that I interpret them, was not to force, control or make children be religious out of fear and indoctrination. And the point of my words was: if you want to instill religion in your children – look to inspire them, look to make it joyful, look to allow them to develop their own interpretation and perspective. As a proud Israeli Jew, I can assure you that antisemitism is irrelevant to this conversation.
      Love and light. xxx

  1. All she was trying to communicate was the fact that nobody should be religious. A horrible talk and a waste of time. Title of podcast should be changed to “why religion shouldn’t be instilled in children”.

    1. Hey Danny, Thanks for your feedback.
      Curious if you actually hear the whole podcast? I personally do instill religion into my family so I’m curious how you came to this conclusion. The main theme of this podcast was to inspire your religious beliefs, rather than force them. Did you hear something different?

  2. She approached a very sensative, personal and almost taboo topic with such thoughtfulness and care. As in all her material I hear same themes of role modeling, treating our kids with respect and dignity, selfcare and not being constrained to cultural dictates.
    Thank you for your boldness for willingness to ‘go there’
    I LOVED this podcast!

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