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Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

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TRIGGERED? What to do…

Peaceful Parenting is hard, this we know. And, as I argue here, continual parenting education is critical for most of us.

Which is why I was thrilled when my teacher, mentor and partner in role-play-crime, Dr. Laura Markham of ahaparenting.com released her third book – this time a workbook for us parents to learn to self regulate.

As was obvious from my lego-star-wars debacle, I’m not always so finely regulated, myself.

I’m sure Dr. Laura’s reputation precedes her but in case you aren’t familiar yet – head on over here and start with seeing her in action in a collection of role-play episodes we made together (I’m tantruming like a 3 year old – cringe – and she’s my mom).

I have been cozying up with the hubmonster (almost) every evening – and going through a few pages of the workbook together.

  • He loves the practicality and applicable advice – that he can put into practice the next day.
  • I love the reflective questions, the opportunity to revisit and think deeply.
  • He loves the science based information.
  • I love the empathic, firm approach.

Point being, get the book, and work through it – alone or with your partner 🙂

Today I wanted to shout out (or softly whisper) about one of Dr. Laura’s awesome methods for stopping our triggers in their tracks. If, like most humanoids, you too get triggered sometimes – you’ll want to print out my little poster, or download my phone background (save it as your screen saver) so that you can keep this tactic top of mind for the next few weeks.

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE SCREEN SAVER and POSTER HERE

The Technique has four basic steps: When you're triggered, the first step @DrLauraMarkham teaches us is to STOP, DROP and BREATHE. Try it today!via @ParentingJunkieTweet This

  1. STOP, DROP, BREATHE
    STOP
      – everything you’re doing.
    Physically pull away from the situation, life your hands, shut your mouth, halt!
    DROP – drop your agenda. Drop your preconceived notions and judgments. Drop your thoughts for a moment.
    BREATHE – ten slow breaths are the typical advice – anything to slow the system down and let your brain know this is not an emergency.
  2. CHOOSE LOVE
    Remind yourself of your choice and commitment to Parent from Love!
  3. Find an ALTERNATIVE THOUGHT
    Rather than the original (probably damning) judgement of your child, yourself or the situation – what alternative thoughts could you offer?
  4. CALM YOUR BODY
    Some ideas to calm yourself might be:
    Drink water
    Take a walk
    Listen to music
    Stretch or hang upside down
    Move yourself!
    Get outside/ open a window!
    Call a beloved friend

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE VISUAL REMINDERS HERE


LEAVE A COMMENT

What calms you down? How do you stop triggers in their tracks? What did you love most about Dr Laura’s approach? Give me a LOVE in the comments if you, too, have found her work AMAZING ❤️


Watch Dr. Laura parent 3, 4, 5 year old Avital! ►

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9 comments

9 Replies to “Dr Laura Markham – 4 Steps to Calm Down When You’re Triggered”

  1. I can recognize what you said about once you started why not then go on and on….
    A visual trick that works for me is to wear 5 thin bracelet/ hairties on one wrist. When I yell at my children, or catch myself talking to them in a bad tone I put a bracelet on my other hand. Then I have to make it up, and 5 reconnecting actions make up one wrong action.
    It helps me not to spiral into a “bad day”… and lately I actually catch myself so many times before I act on my trigger ?. Its great for stressful periods or just to get started!

  2. In the moment i often need to shake my body… like i’m shaking off the energy that does not serve me. If i have coverage i’ll often run out to nature, bathing my face in the sun, planting my bare feet on the ground (no matter how cold) and imagining mother earth herself taking the energy away from me or placing my palms on the surface of running waters and repeating… let my body be as clear as running waters.

  3. Hi Avital, love this video. I was having such a great week coping with triggers and handling them in a calm way. Then my husband came home from his week away. For some reason I get triggered more easily by my children when my husband is home. Perhaps it’s because I want him to hear I am having a hard time and offer support, or maybe it’s because small things he does (or doesn’t) do during the day make my “irritability bucket” fill up so I’m more likely to overflow.
    Could you cover in the future something about how your relationship with your partner can also affect your trigger state? Thanks!

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