TRIGGERED? What to do…
Which is why I was thrilled when my teacher, mentor and partner in role-play-crime, Dr. Laura Markham of ahaparenting.com released her third book – this time a workbook for us parents to learn to self regulate.
As was obvious from my lego-star-wars debacle, I’m not always so finely regulated, myself.
I’m sure Dr. Laura’s reputation precedes her but in case you aren’t familiar yet – head on over here and start with seeing her in action in a collection of role-play episodes we made together (I’m tantruming like a 3 year old – cringe – and she’s my mom).
I have been cozying up with the hubmonster (almost) every evening – and going through a few pages of the workbook together.
- He loves the practicality and applicable advice – that he can put into practice the next day.
- I love the reflective questions, the opportunity to revisit and think deeply.
- He loves the science based information.
- I love the empathic, firm approach.
Point being, get the book, and work through it – alone or with your partner 🙂
Today I wanted to shout out (or softly whisper) about one of Dr. Laura’s awesome methods for stopping our triggers in their tracks. If, like most humanoids, you too get triggered sometimes – you’ll want to print out my little poster, or download my phone background (save it as your screen saver) so that you can keep this tactic top of mind for the next few weeks.
The Technique has four basic steps: When you're triggered, the first step @DrLauraMarkham teaches us is to STOP, DROP and BREATHE. Try it today!via @ParentingJunkieTweet This
- STOP, DROP, BREATHE
STOP – everything you’re doing.
Physically pull away from the situation, life your hands, shut your mouth, halt!
DROP – drop your agenda. Drop your preconceived notions and judgments. Drop your thoughts for a moment.
BREATHE – ten slow breaths are the typical advice – anything to slow the system down and let your brain know this is not an emergency.
- CHOOSE LOVE
Remind yourself of your choice and commitment to Parent from Love!
- Find an ALTERNATIVE THOUGHT
Rather than the original (probably damning) judgement of your child, yourself or the situation – what alternative thoughts could you offer?
- CALM YOUR BODY
Some ideas to calm yourself might be:
Take a walk
Listen to music
Stretch or hang upside down
Get outside/ open a window!
Call a beloved friend
LEAVE A COMMENT
What calms you down? How do you stop triggers in their tracks? What did you love most about Dr Laura’s approach? Give me a LOVE in the comments if you, too, have found her work AMAZING ❤️