How to Enjoy The Holidays With Family (hint: stop trying to impress!)
Sometimes when we get together with extended family, it can feel like a bit of a performance. We want our kids to be scrubbed up and looking their best. We need to prove how smart, athletic or well-behaved they are. We feel the pressure to appear to be excellent parents, who have it all together. I can’t be the only one who feels this, right?
The truth is, that our children are not actors in some play and neither are we! None of us is with family to please and perform. Let go of the feeling that you have something to prove. If there’s one thing to remember this holiday season, it’s that our kids are people not performers. When we go to family gatherings, how about we embrace vulnerability and show up as we are. Openhearted, authentic, and willing to connect for real. Of course we all want to be the best versions of ourselves, but anyone who understands childhood development knows that children get dirty, have tantrums and meltdowns, need attention, break things, go wild, and don’t always make us look good! Anyone who doesn’t “get” that is going to be pretty disappointed when we come to visit. It’s OK for family to expect us to adhere to unreasonable timetables, to not understand why we have a bed time, why we restrict sugar intake or screen usage, or why we don’t want plastic toys up the wazoo. They don’t have to understand.
The point of hanging out with family is to connect with them. Let’s focus on that and release ourselves of the pressure to impress them! You don’t have to apologize for raising human kids, or for being human yourself. You don't have to apologize for raising human kids, or for being human yourself.via @ParentingJunkieTweet This You also don’t have to conform! Instead, put those expectations of theirs to one side. Show up wholeheartedly, vulnerably, and authentically.
You be you.
Let your kids be themselves.
And connect with your family.
However that happens…or doesn’t! If the people we love can’t love us as we are, then what kind of connection is that anyway? Let’s show up as ourselves and love them for themselves too. That’s loving parenting and parenting from love.
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How do YOU connect with family over the holidays? How do you show up as yourself?