Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

read more

Get your FREE Mindful Gift Guide

When someone crosses a red line with your child, it is OK to set a firm, loving limit. If you’re facing challenges with the people closest to you, remember that peaceful parenting isn’t just for our children. We can set firm, Empathic Limits for adult family members as well. We can do so with love, respect, and crystal clear communication of our expectations and boundaries. 

Toxic or simply unwanted behaviors might look different in any family, and it feels different for every parent. A grandma who bribes, yells, or even spanks her grandchildren. It might be an Auntie who tells them they need to lose weight,  and models terrible self-loathing. It could be a grandpa who calls them names, laughs at them, has too much drink, or forcefully pulls them onto his lap.

Let me say this again, it’s OK to set limits with the people you love. Ultimately, as awkward and uncomfortable as it may be, it’s OK, and it’s part of our job as parents.

How to Set Boundaries With Your Family Members (other than your children)

Here are some examples of what you might say.

“Please stop making comments about my daughter’s body.”

“I can’t let you pull him onto your lap. He’s saying ‘No!’ “

“We can’t come over if you’re not sober when we’re here.”

It’s OK to say “No.” It’s OK not to come, or to come on your own terms, at the location and timing of your choosing. 

My favorite way to set a loving limit is to set a boundary sandwich, which looks like this. “Yes…No…Yes.” You start by affirming, or giving some sort of loving feedback. Then, you give a clear, firm, undeniable NO as to what you don’t agree with. Finally, you end on another YES note, that is affirming and connecting or something that you CAN agree to. For example:

“You’re such a playful grandpa and the kids just adore you. I can’t let you pull them onto your lap or hug them when they’re choosing not to. What they really enjoy is playing chess, tag, or uno.”

“It’s so incredible generous of you to cook for everyone over the holidays. Our kids can have one candy each, but no more. Thanks so much for making such efforts for us to be comfortable.”

“I really appreciate that you’re concerned about my daughter’s health. Making any comments about her food, her body, or her looks is completely counter productive and really out of the questions. But she loves discussing the books she’s reading, her science project, and anything to do with horses.”

“Yes, we would love to see you over the holidays. We will not be coming to your home. We would love to go to a concert together.”

“You know how much the kids love playing with you. We can’t see you unless you’re sober. We’ve really missed our time together.”

Even though most well-phrased limits may fall on deaf ears, because some people just have a toxic dynamic with us and the best thing we can do is to limit the time we spend with them, and to do so on our own terms. We can spend time together on our turf, or on neutral grounds. We might need to pull away a bit when needed to disconnect, and to protect ourselves and our kids. 


Gimme your BEST boundary sandwich example in the comments below. Bonus points if it’s one you would really like to or need to set with a loved one!

↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓


 

You may also like...
COME FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM!

Create a marriage you LOVE with the partner you've got! ⁣

Parent in love to create family bliss.⁣

Are you joining us? We begin July 1st. Check out Parent In Love >> Link in bio @parentingjunkie ⁣

#parentinlove #peacefulpartnering #parentingtogether #mindfulmarriage #familybliss #loveparenting #loveparentingwithhim #loveparentingwithher
...

There's still time to slide right in! With just 24 hours left, all you need to do is sign up now (for $0) ...you'll have another 14 days to decide! #ParentInLove Link in bio @ParentingJunkie (www.TheParentingJunkie.com/PIL) ...

Now look, we’re all tired of the over-inflated results that course creators are flaunting on the interwebs. We’re all suspicious of online courses actually delivering on all their bloated promises. So if you think, “Bah, just another expensive course I don’t need” - I feel you, I do. I take the same wary approach when buying new programs. ⁣

But that’s why I want to share real human beings from all walks of life who have actually been through this course and received meaningful and priceless renewals in their relationships. ⁣

Like Chelsea, who remarked: “When I joined Parent in Love, I was ready to give up on my marriage. Today, my marriage has had a complete overhaul! It's practically a different marriage altogether.”⁣

Or Tanya, who reported: "This course has ABSOLUTELY TRANSFORMED our marriage, our family life, and my own personal growth journey! We still fight, but the fights are fewer and we tend to make up quicker and in front of the kids now!"⁣

And here's what Jonna said: "I have tools that give me hope and I know how to start resolving our conflicts. I have started to notice how my own shift of thoughts changes the whole atmosphere in our home, not only between me and my hubby but with the kids also."⁣

Check out my IGTV for more amazing success stories.⁣

Parent In Love is a 6-month deep-dive online program that will transform your marriage from the inside out. ⁣

Check it out!⁣
LINK IN BIO @parentingjunkie ⁣
www.theparentingjunkie.com/pil
...

Ever find yourself waiting for your partner to change? Sometimes, it feels easier alone. ⁣

As much as you want and need the support - I know sometimes it can just feel easier to run your home on your own. ⁣

No one criticizing. ⁣
No one judging. ⁣
No one commenting. ⁣
No one watching. ⁣
No one adding to your to-do list with their needs.⁣
No one irritating you.⁣

Ah. Bliss. ⁣

But did you ever have these thoughts only to then think: "Yikes! That's not really what I want, is it? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with us!?"⁣

And what has waiting for your partner to change gotten you so far? ⁣

Stop waiting... ⁣

You deserve to have a happy marriage, and your kids deserve to have happy parents. ⁣

And don't wait on your partner, because the Parent In Love program is DESIGNED to be done alone - so that YOU can focus on what YOU can change: yourself.⁣

Your partner will necessarily be affected by the changes you make - because that's how relationships work, we're intertwined like that. ⁣

So TAKE A BREAK trying to change your partner right now, and finally, start to see some real transformation. ⁣

Psst... Your partner doesn't even have to KNOW you're doing the program - not that I'm suggesting you hide this from them, especially if you two are used to discussing financial investments you make - but I DO want you to know that many members have gone through Parent In Love WITHOUT letting their partners know about it. ⁣

And what happened? ⁣

Well, typically their partner would suddenly begin to NOTICE a profound (wonderful!) shift in their relationship and wonder "what's going on?!" ⁣

If you really want to take this program but you're struggling to work through their concerns, especially about the $ investment, I've provided scripts to help you have those important conversations with confidence. ⁣

Get the free Make It Happen PDF in the >>> FAQ >> www.TheParentingJunkie.com/PIL (link in bio @parentingjunkie) #parentinlove
...

This error message is only visible to WordPress admins
There has been a problem with your Instagram Feed.
Add a Comment

0 comments