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I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

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Dr. Laura says that parents often get side tracked by a behavior, without getting to the root cause. In this name-calling role play, the bigger issue here was big sister’s right to have some of her belongings left alone. I, the big sister, have to share everything and can’t even protect my own stuff, so I got super angry and called my little sister names. If our mum had come in and said “Stop calling each other names, you know better!” we would have never gotten to that. At the end, our mum got us both laughing. If we hadn’t have done that, all the words wouldn’t have mattered! Both kids would have walked away with a chip on their shoulder.

Don’t worry about who started it. Help each child tell the other how it made them feel. 

It’s not actually for your benefit as a parent to pass judgement and understand “who started it.” That’s kind of a relief right? We don’t have to be super detectives. We just have to help each child tell the other how it made them feel. Only when they begin to understand how their actions made the other person feel does there begin to be repair between them. 

Use extreme or ridiculous statements to lighten the mood, and to respond to statements like “You love her more!”

Dr. Laura says it gets to a point where a child might express their biggest fears like “You don’t love me!” It’s a great time to get a bit silly and say something like “You want me to only love you! You want to be #1! What about me? Who will love me?” Saying this in an over dramatic and silly way is another way to get them laughing.

In mainstream parenting advice, if a kid calls a name, it’s likely to be suggested that her or she needs to be punished or removed them from the situation. In this role play however, we didn’t even make name calling the issue. We instead moved on to the real reason big sister felt pushed over the edge to call names in the first place. 

2 Tips For Dealing with Name Calling

  1. Use affirmative language – “You can’t call names” vs “You can tell your sister what you’re mad about without using mean words.”
  2. Bring up your child’s intention – A child might say “but ‘baby’ is not a bad word!”

How do you address name calling? Do you have a go to phrase or reminder? Is there a recurring issue that is usually behind it? TELL US IN THE COMMENTS!

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My 5th pregnancy took place during a worldwide pandemic, whilst I was running a business, homeschooling 4 little ones, and locked down like the rest of us... so it came with some challenges and some pretty profound blessings (amazing how those two always come together, isn’t it?).

During the pregnancy, I recorded a little series of videos that outlined the things that helped me - and might help you too if you are expecting or plan to be. In the coming weeks, I’ll share my tips for preparing for a home birth and how my partner prepped to support me during the birth.

These were all recorded when I was 9 months pregnant, and the entire process was - I’m ridonkulously grateful to say - smooth and healthy. We ended up welcoming baby K into the world in a peaceful, powerful, and very private home birth (my first) in the middle of a January night, and my hubby was very well prepared.

So, let’s dig into this brand new, 3-part series!

Starting with...

How to Be Your Best Self During Pregnancy
10 Pro Tips for Pregnancy Self-Care🤰

In this 23-minute episode, you’ll learn…
1. How to ___ for the day.
2. Why you should ____ your body.
3. Prioritize your ______.
4. A weird and unexpected ____ that helped me feel better this time.
5. __ well.
6. Address ____ and past _____.
7. Take care of your ______.
8. _____, _______, and decorate.
9. Make your ______ comfortable.
10. Incorporate _________.

Find it on The Parenting Junkie Show - YouTube, Blog, and Podcasts... 🔗 Link in bio!

💬 What are your best tips for self-care during pregnancy? Let us know in the comments below!

#pregnancy #pregnancyselfcare #mindfulpregnancy #pregnantwithnumber5 #pregnancytips #pregnancyadvice
...

Imagine that instead of brushing your kid’s teeth every day, you decided to wait until they’re 16. ⁣

The side effects of this choice would be…⁣
😝 Bad breath⁣
😬 Plaque build-up and discoloration⁣
🦷 Toothaches and cavities… ⁣
and eventually, BIG $$$$$ at the dentist for treatment.⁣

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!⁣
Of course, this is not a good plan!⁣

I'm going to assume you would rather create a small, manageable daily habit that invests in our child’s oral hygiene to last a lifetime.⁣

Because we know: ⁣
It might be a pain to get started and stay consistent, but over the long haul, it will save you so much pain, $$$, and grossness.🤢⁣

And it's the same with, independence.⁣

If you invest a little bit in your child’s independent play right now - taking small, manageable steps every day to maintain and establish healthy habits - you will reap the benefits over time.⁣

A tough-love moment here - it’s not realistic to wait until your child is 16 and then suddenly expect them to be independent enough to drive or get their first job or figure out a plan for the summer.⁣

These are skills you’ve got to build slowly and gradually.⁣

It’s also not desirable to spend the next decade suffering through burnout, exhaustion, clinginess - because you’re not making the little investment that it takes to establish healthy independent play habits (just as it’s not awesome to endure cavities, toothache, and bad breath for years - rather than invest in establishing healthy brushing habits early on).⁣

So I guess my message is: Don’t wait with this. ⁣
When we neglect our child’s need for independence - it gets worse, not better.⁣

But when you take the time to follow along with the small, daily, doable actions that are outlined in the Reclaim Play Challenge - it will pay off in spades years later! ⁣

That’s why you’re here.⁣

You can do this. 💪⁣

It’s SO worth it. The small actions you’re taking now are going to pay back dividends... forever.⁣

Reclaim Play is all unlocked! Link in bio
...

“𝗗𝗿𝗮𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀𝗲!” my daughter said. Not gonna lie, I draw a mean horse. 🐎 So I did. She watched me, wide-eyed, so impressed. So excited. So grateful! A beautiful moment, right?⁣

I thought so. “𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘈𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘭!” I thought, patting myself on the back.⁣

After she colored it in she said: “𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗺𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘄?” 🧜‍♀️ ⁣

“𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘳𝘢𝘸 𝘪𝘵, 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦?”⁣

“𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻’𝘁 𝗱𝗿𝗮𝘄 𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂.”⁣

oomph.⁣

My heart sunk just a little bit. 😟⁣

In my well-meaning attempt to answer my daughter’s sweet request - I had undermined her own creativity. ⁣

I had shown her that I, the adult, was more developed, more skilled, more capable - so much so that she might as well not even try. ⁣

Why try when she could never measure up to the mermaid that I can produce? ⁣

Look, it’s not a big deal. I’ll still draw for my kids from time to time - but I really try not to. ⁣

I try to say, 'No', to playing with them or for them - because I want to say, 'Yes', to something else...⁣

I want to say YES to their: ⁣
❤ Creativity⁣
❤ Independence⁣
❤ Personal Satisfaction⁣
❤ Development⁣
❤ Resilience⁣
❤ Problem-solving⁣
❤ Focus⁣
❤ Attention⁣
❤ Concentration⁣
❤ Inner World⁣

I want to step out of the way of THEIR self-expression, curiosity, exploration. And as an adult, if I interject myself (even if they’re begging me to!), I’m totally likely to overshadow and overpower - even with all my best intentions!⁣

So, my friend, if you ever feel guilty for letting your kids play independently, for saying “no”, stepping away, or becoming less involved, know this:⁣

𝗜𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝗯𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁!⁣

We owe it to them.⁣

I hope this is a liberating thought for you, as it was for me. ⁣

#reclaimplay #independentplay⁣
#childhoodunplugged #motherhoodthroughinstagram #letthembelittle #playpandemic #presentplay #intentionalmotherhood #intentionalparenting #loveparenting #enjoyparenting #parenthood #parentingwisdom #childdevelopment #playisimportant #playislearning #playisachildswork #independencebaby #toddlerdrawings #toddlerdrawing
...

If you're finding the days at home with your kids stressful and disorganized and you end up just waiting for bedtime to come - you're in the right place. ⁣

My work is dedicated to helping you to love parenting and to parent from love. ⁣

And one of the most profound (and under-used) tools for creating a life you love (even with little kids) is... ⁣

RECLAIMING PLAY! ⁣

When kids play independently - parents get a breather. ⁣

Even better: Independent Play is one of the healthiest things for kids' development. ⁣

That's what I call a win-win.⁣

Want to know how to inspire your child (age 0+) to play for looooong stretches of time? ⁣

I've created a fool-proof method to inspire 3 hours of independent play a day in just 3 weeks. Just imagine your child sinking into immersive, imaginary, nurturing play for hours every day... ⁣

Let me know in the comments if you want me to dm you the details of the Free Reclaim Play Challenge! ❤
...

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2 comments

2 Replies to “Name Calling – Does it Ever End?? [Feat. Dr. Laura Markham]”

  1. This was a great video and the first time I see Dr Markham in action. I almost feel like I missed the boat of that one as my oldest is 10 and these strategies would have worked better when he was younger. Will certainly inspire myself from it and try next time….. hoping next time isn’t anytime soon 🙂

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