Marie Forleo introduction


I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

read more

How to Set Limits So Your Child Can Hear Them

Are You The “No” Lady? (or Gentleman?)

I know I sometimes am. When I suddenly stop and hear myself I can often count 11 no’s in the space of 29 seconds. Or something like that.

I know what you’re thinking: What, so now we’re not supposed to say “No”?! What happened to boundaries! Here’s why all kids today are as spoiled as the spilt milk they cry over! Entitlement! Indulging!

Hear me out. You can and should continue to set the right kind of limits, firmly, and kindly. But the word “NO” can often be perceived as aggressive and harsh – and even rude, when aimed at adults. Why the double standard?

And that’s the point I’m addressing today. Saying a simple “NO” is not usually our best bet with our friends, partners, colleagues… or children.

Setting limits is important in any healthy relationship, but in all our other relationships we go to great pains to soften the blow of “NO”. To explain it, to sand down the splinters and smooth over the edges.

Take a look at the inconsistency here:

“I’m sorry, I can’t work late today. But I’d be happy to take some extra work home on the weekend”. (to our boss)

“Awww, I wish I could! That sounds so nice… but we have plans.” (to our best friend)

“Honey, tonight I’m swamped but let’s do dinner tomorrow, OK?” (to our partner)

“NO!” (to our child)

Hearing a straight up “NO” (without caveats or explanations) brings out the rebel in all of us (see: “I’ll show you no screen time!”). Or even worse: it makes us feel worthless and unvalued… As though our wishes, needs and requests aren’t even worth a consideration. As though just asking isn’t OK.

But the good news is that in their book, No Drama Discipline, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson and Dr. Daniel Siegel have taught us the art of the “conditional yes”. Setting a “NO” limit, in effect, but in a positive, more palatable orientation. Finessing the art of the conditional “Yes” is what sets the peaceful parents apart from the power-strugglers. I know which I’d rather be, so I’m practicing!

It’s our job as peaceful parents to find the hidden “Yes” in every “No”. (Tweet it)

Here are the five ways to hold firm limits without the “NO”:

  1. Yes, in another time. “Yes, you can have candy… on Sunday!”
  2. Yes, in another place. “Yes, you can play with water… outside!”
  3. Yes, in fantasy. “Yes, I wish we could buy another teddy bear! I wish we could buy a million!”
  4. Yes, if… “Yes, I can play with you. If you give me five minutes first.”
  5. Yes, to the feeling “Yes, you really feel like having sugar right now! I know what that feels like!”

Will you try to say YES instead of NO? Then give a big YES in the comments!

If you want to learn more on know which limits to set, look into Empathic Limits.

You may also like...

Create a marriage you LOVE with the partner you've got! ⁣

Parent in love to create family bliss.⁣

Are you joining us? We begin July 1st. Check out Parent In Love >> Link in bio @parentingjunkie ⁣

#parentinlove #peacefulpartnering #parentingtogether #mindfulmarriage #familybliss #loveparenting #loveparentingwithhim #loveparentingwithher

There's still time to slide right in! With just 24 hours left, all you need to do is sign up now (for $0)'ll have another 14 days to decide! #ParentInLove Link in bio @ParentingJunkie ( ...

Now look, we’re all tired of the over-inflated results that course creators are flaunting on the interwebs. We’re all suspicious of online courses actually delivering on all their bloated promises. So if you think, “Bah, just another expensive course I don’t need” - I feel you, I do. I take the same wary approach when buying new programs. ⁣

But that’s why I want to share real human beings from all walks of life who have actually been through this course and received meaningful and priceless renewals in their relationships. ⁣

Like Chelsea, who remarked: “When I joined Parent in Love, I was ready to give up on my marriage. Today, my marriage has had a complete overhaul! It's practically a different marriage altogether.”⁣

Or Tanya, who reported: "This course has ABSOLUTELY TRANSFORMED our marriage, our family life, and my own personal growth journey! We still fight, but the fights are fewer and we tend to make up quicker and in front of the kids now!"⁣

And here's what Jonna said: "I have tools that give me hope and I know how to start resolving our conflicts. I have started to notice how my own shift of thoughts changes the whole atmosphere in our home, not only between me and my hubby but with the kids also."⁣

Check out my IGTV for more amazing success stories.⁣

Parent In Love is a 6-month deep-dive online program that will transform your marriage from the inside out. ⁣

Check it out!⁣
LINK IN BIO @parentingjunkie ⁣

Ever find yourself waiting for your partner to change? Sometimes, it feels easier alone. ⁣

As much as you want and need the support - I know sometimes it can just feel easier to run your home on your own. ⁣

No one criticizing. ⁣
No one judging. ⁣
No one commenting. ⁣
No one watching. ⁣
No one adding to your to-do list with their needs.⁣
No one irritating you.⁣

Ah. Bliss. ⁣

But did you ever have these thoughts only to then think: "Yikes! That's not really what I want, is it? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with us!?"⁣

And what has waiting for your partner to change gotten you so far? ⁣

Stop waiting... ⁣

You deserve to have a happy marriage, and your kids deserve to have happy parents. ⁣

And don't wait on your partner, because the Parent In Love program is DESIGNED to be done alone - so that YOU can focus on what YOU can change: yourself.⁣

Your partner will necessarily be affected by the changes you make - because that's how relationships work, we're intertwined like that. ⁣

So TAKE A BREAK trying to change your partner right now, and finally, start to see some real transformation. ⁣

Psst... Your partner doesn't even have to KNOW you're doing the program - not that I'm suggesting you hide this from them, especially if you two are used to discussing financial investments you make - but I DO want you to know that many members have gone through Parent In Love WITHOUT letting their partners know about it. ⁣

And what happened? ⁣

Well, typically their partner would suddenly begin to NOTICE a profound (wonderful!) shift in their relationship and wonder "what's going on?!" ⁣

If you really want to take this program but you're struggling to work through their concerns, especially about the $ investment, I've provided scripts to help you have those important conversations with confidence. ⁣

Get the free Make It Happen PDF in the >>> FAQ >> (link in bio @parentingjunkie) #parentinlove

This error message is only visible to WordPress admins
There has been a problem with your Instagram Feed.
Add a Comment