- Do you ever feel depleted as a parent? Do you feel like everything you have has been drained and sucked out of you, and there’s nothing left?
- Our society praises a “child-centered” approach to parenting. But yet we’re scolded for coddling our children and raising “snowflakes.”
- It leaves many of us feeling resentful toward our children.
- Conversely there’s the adult centered approach, which many of us grew up with. The punitive, controlling, authoritarian “because I said so / my way or the highway” approach. Using manipulation, (bribes, guilt, threats, punishment, etc) to get your children to behave the way you want them to. This approach doesn’t take the child’s needs into consideration.
- It doesn’t have to be one or the other… there’s a completely different approach to consider!
- Relationship centered is in a space between these two extremes. It takes the whole family’s needs into consideration. It’s about rejecting the me OR you, and instead focusing on me AND you.
- My preferences matter, AND yours matter. We reject the false dichotomy of me against you.
- We look at conflict as an opportunity to grow and become more precise and attuned.
- If we break it down into steps:
- I matter. My needs matter. My self-care, my preferences, my boundaries, and my rhythm all matter.
- You matter. Your needs matter.
- We matter. It matters that we feel good about each other.
- It’s a never ending dance, trying to keep the balance as the pendulum swings back and forth.
Dear Avital,
Your work on Peaceful parenting has litteraly enlightened my life. I was, just a few weeks ago, feeling exhausted and crawling under houseworks ( my husband and I have a one year old and a four year old). Thanks to you and your amazing job I know that my life is not going to change by itself but that I can be the change. Your words are clear, you use striking sentences that keep in my mind and remind me that everything is possible. You give me Love, you give me Hope, you give me back my life as a woman, as a mother, as a wife, and even as a daughter. A Huge thank you, and an ocean of Love for you and your family. Alexandra, from France