Should you tell your kids the truth about Santa or the tooth fairy? How about the “Elf On The Shelf”? I get asked questions about these and other traditions on a regular basis, and I thought I would round up some of my favorite conversations regarding these in this special holiday episode.
- [3:03] Some TPJ updates!
- [11:06] Should we tell our kids the truth about Santa?
- [11:59] I feel strongly that everything I tell my kids should be 100% the truth.
- [13:18] You don’t have to bring it up, but if they ask, be honest.
- [13:41] Soon your kids may ask you about serious matters, and they should not have any doubt that you’re being honest with them.
- [15:08] Don’t avoid the game or ritual; but consider being 100% honest about it if your children ask if it’s real.
- [16:58] My thoughts on the “Elf On The Shelf” tradition.
- [19:27] When children melt down, it’s because there’s an unmet need or our expectation isn’t developmentally appropriate.
- [22:44] Our role isn’t to manipulate our children into good behavior.
- [23:30] This actually teaches them to only behave when they’re being watched, and doesn’t teach them empathy.
- [27:03] How you can make it fun without the manipulation.
- [29:56] A letter to our families.
- [30:02] We may not like or approve of everything our family does, and they may not agree with the way we do things (or don’t do things).
- [30:40] Let’s reframe; they often do the things they do or say the things they say because they care about us!
- [31:02] Let’s try to model what it looks like to be loving and accepting, even when people disagree with us.
- [31:28] We shouldn’t let little annoyances come between us and the people we love (and who love us).
- [31:55] Let’s focus on the gift of spending time together.
When you approach these issues with the mindset of a conscious and peaceful parent, you’ll find ways to enjoy the holidays and their traditions without the sometimes negative and harmful effects they may otherwise bring.
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