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Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

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You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.

Do you ever wonder how some people make it look so easy and seem to “do it all?” They homeschool their kids while also growing a business. They’re highly productive, yet spend time with their loved ones and are fully present and engaged.

People often ask me how I do it all; run a business, homeschool my children, take care of our home, take care of myself, my spouse, etc. In this episode we’re going to dive into the topic of how I do it all.

First, it’s important to dispel the myth that any of us can do everything.  

  • You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.
  • I believe in doing all of the IMPORTANT things, then outsourcing, reducing, and/or eliminating the rest.
  • I believe in working and taking action and accomplishing things, but I don’t believe in busyness.

How to do it all:

  1. Don’t do it all!
    Get help! Get as much help as you can. As your situation allows, outsource things that other people can do to enable you to do the things that only you can do. Outsource things you don’t enjoy doing. Things that take you away from things that bring you joy and fulfillment. 
  2. It takes a village!
    You need other people in your life. There are people who will help for free. Drop your kids off to play with your friend’s kids so you can run some errands. There are people who’d love to come play with your kids so you could take a break or work on some other things.
     
  3. Multi-task!
    It’s not for everyone for every time. In caregiving times and other times when I need to be present and engaged, I’m not multitasking. But while I’m driving, walking, or doing other things that are autonomous where you could be listening to audio books, podcasts, etc.
  4. Find Routine & Rhythm!
    We have a predictable weekly and daily flow. It drastically cuts down on power struggles throughout the day (getting out the door, meal times, getting to bed, etc). And because it’s so predictable, I have blocks of time where I know I can get my work done and schedule in my self-care. 
  5. Declutter like your life depends on it!
    Because it does.Declutter both physically (in your home, office, etc) and in terms of your time/schedule.

    There are many things that don’t happen in this season in my life: I don’t answer every email, I pursue every project that comes along, and I say no to a lot of things.

    Everything that comes into your home and schedule needs to earn it’s place. It needs to be deserving of the energy it takes.  

    If there are things in our home that aren’t serving us, that are adding to the clutter, I get rid of them.

    If there are relationships that are draining and not bringing me joy, I let them slip away.

    This helps me bring my full energy and enthusiasm to the things that I’m doing and keeping in my life.

    I don’t watch much TV (maybe 45 min a week). I don’t go out much. I try very hard to reduce or eliminate mindless scrolling on social media.

     

  6. Supreme self-care.
    If you want to bring your best to everything you do, you need to take care of yourself. Our bodies and minds need time to rest and rejuvenate. Running yourself ragged is a recipe for burnout and depression.

    Once you feel rested, nourished, and taken care of, then everything else flows and you can give in a way that is never a sacrifice. It just flows from you naturally.

    There will be days that are hard and you’ll fall into a victim mindset. But you’re responsible for your own self-care and well-being, and when you take care of yourself, the bad days will be few and far between instead of normal.  

    You need to stop putting yourself last. Stop putting everything and everyone else before your own well-being. When you leave your self-care for last, there’s never enough time and energy. Start making self-care a priority and schedule it in first. Then take care of others with whatever time and energy is left.

I would love to hear what you’re saying “no” to so that you can say “yes” to self-care. Take a screenshot of this podcast episode and tag me on Instagram. Tag me (@parentingjunkie) and use the hashtag #parentingjunkie, and let me know what you’re doing to reclaim self-care.

  • One final tip:
    Focus on being relentlessly optimistic! Focus on gratitude, abundance, and resilience. See challenges and problems as opportunities to grow; rather than being something done
    to me, they’re opportunities for me.  

Resources & Links:

LISTEN TO THE LATEST TJP EPISODES
COME FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM!

Imagine that instead of brushing your kid’s teeth every day, you decided to wait until they’re 16. ⁣

The side effects of this choice would be…⁣
😝 Bad breath⁣
😬 Plaque build-up and discoloration⁣
🦷 Toothaches and cavities… ⁣
and eventually, BIG $$$$$ at the dentist for treatment.⁣

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!⁣
Of course, this is not a good plan!⁣

I'm going to assume you would rather create a small, manageable daily habit that invests in our child’s oral hygiene to last a lifetime.⁣

Because we know: ⁣
It might be a pain to get started and stay consistent, but over the long haul, it will save you so much pain, $$$, and grossness.🤢⁣

And it's the same with, independence.⁣

If you invest a little bit in your child’s independent play right now - taking small, manageable steps every day to maintain and establish healthy habits - you will reap the benefits over time.⁣

A tough-love moment here - it’s not realistic to wait until your child is 16 and then suddenly expect them to be independent enough to drive or get their first job or figure out a plan for the summer.⁣

These are skills you’ve got to build slowly and gradually.⁣

It’s also not desirable to spend the next decade suffering through burnout, exhaustion, clinginess - because you’re not making the little investment that it takes to establish healthy independent play habits (just as it’s not awesome to endure cavities, toothache, and bad breath for years - rather than invest in establishing healthy brushing habits early on).⁣

So I guess my message is: Don’t wait with this. ⁣
When we neglect our child’s need for independence - it gets worse, not better.⁣

But when you take the time to follow along with the small, daily, doable actions that are outlined in the Reclaim Play Challenge - it will pay off in spades years later! ⁣

That’s why you’re here.⁣

You can do this. 💪⁣

It’s SO worth it. The small actions you’re taking now are going to pay back dividends... forever.⁣

Reclaim Play is all unlocked! Link in bio
...

We're kicking off Week 3 "Inspire" with a set of #StrewPro challenges!

So, what is a strew? It's simply leaving out toys, books, activities, or objects in a new and inviting way. Silently waiting for your kid to "discover" them and maybe - just maybe - to bite into independent play.

Did you know there are a myriad of "toys" in your home, strews waiting to be formed right under your nose?

Today, I want you to head to your KITCHEN and find things that your kid might take interest in...

Nesting bowls
Measuring cups
Spatulas
Wooden spoons
Pots
Pans

There's literally so many options and combinations to explore!

Try putting them out on a tray or somewhere that is not the kitchen. If you're feeling brave you can get really fancy and add in some water, slime, or dry beans (only do this if you're happy to clean it all up later).

There's really only ONE rule to becoming a Strew Pro:
Don't tell your child to play with it, don't tell them how to, in fact - you might kinda ignore it all together and just watch what happens.

Go! Grab a few items and arrange your first strew... take a 📸 picture of it and share with me @parentingjunkie in your instagram stories!

Welcome to the wonderful world of strewing, my friend!

#reclaimplay #strewpro #strewing #strewingforthewin #kitchenstrew #presentplay #playinvitation #playinvitations #playinvite #invitationtoplay #independentplay #playisimportant #playisenough #playistheworkofchildhood #playisfun
...

Can your child play independently for 30 minutes in a day?

This week you have done a lot of designing - you created a "pop-up" (a quick and scrappy) Imagination, Messy, Movement, Quiet, and Focus Zone. If you have a little one - you made a YES space for them.

Phew! 😅 Time to give yourself a pat on the back!

☕️Grab your hot drink, 📚your book, and a fluffy pillow because I'll bet my Lego collection you're going to be able to catch 30 minutes of play.

Remember everything you learned in week one:
🌈 Observe without interrupting!
🌈 Practice the "BRB" technique
🌈 Set up little "pop-up zones"

...and I believe you'll be able to catch your child playing for 30 minutes today and 10x the independent play in your home by the end of this week from when you started this challenge.

Now, I know you might be feeling like you're totally not "done" designing your zones - of course not!

Rome wasn't built in a day (or a week!)

In Present Play, we're going to dedicate the entire month of May to perfecting your zones. But this should set you on your way and whet your appetite for more design solutions.

When you catch those 30 mins (or more!) make sure to share it with us! Tag me in your stories @parentingjunkie

★ SIGN UP for the Challenge - link in bio!

#reclaimplay #playzone #playmatters #playspacedesign #independentplay #playistheworkofchildhood #playislearning #independentplaytime #mombreak #reclaimplaychallenge #playspace #intentionalparenting #simplicityparenting #childhooddesign #childdesign #presentplay #presentplaymovement
...

Attention is in short supply these days. Many parents have difficulty helping their kids to focus on anything for any length of time - whilst there are so many reasons this might be the case, one thing that can help is creating a little "work" environment that makes focusing easier...

Cue, the Focus Zone! 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♀️

The Focus Zone is where kids go to do their "work" (like schoolwork) and also where they do any activity that requires following instructions properly.

Think about things that have a "right" and a "wrong" way of doing them - like puzzles or science experiments. Of course, you're not necessarily going to be able to set up a whole Focus Zone right now - but can you gather your materials - things that need to be treated with respect and extra care.

CHALLENGE #13 - Create a Pop-Up Focus Zone!
Find that third cleared area that you prepped last week - preferably a quiet area away from the hustle and bustle of the home. Try placing the materials in a box, bin, tray, or basket right there, and see what happens.

Show me by tagging @parentingjunkie 🤗

#reclaimplay #focustime #focuszone #homework #puzzles #kidspuzzle #kidspuzzles #kidsfocus #preschoolactivities #preschoolathome #preschoolplay #montessori #montessoriactivities #montessoriathome #playmatters #playspacedesign #independentplay #playistheworkofchildhood #playislearning #playislearningplayisenough #playismywork #montessorihomeschool
...

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3 comments

3 Replies to “TPJ 1: How To Do It All (Work, Marriage, Self Care and Awesome Parenting?)”

  1. Hi Avital, I really enjoyed listening to this episode, because I have great interest in the way other people (especially homeschoolers) build their weekly schedule. So – Thanks!

    I have a few questions, if you don’t mind answering-

    1. How much money do you spend on outside help? Having someone that would cook for our family and help cleaning, plus amazing private school programs sounds so good. But is it at all possible for less than 4,000$ a month, here in the east coast?

    2. You do so much work for free (podcast, blog, ect.), how do you earn money?

    3. In this weekly routine you didn’t mention time for learning math/reading/writing, do you teach your children those skills or do you wait for them to be interested in it and ask you to learn?

    Have a great day,

    Thanks!

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