TPJ 1: How To Do It All (Work, Marriage, Self Care and Awesome Parenting?)

You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.

Do you ever wonder how some people make it look so easy and seem to “do it all?” They homeschool their kids while also growing a business. They’re highly productive, yet spend time with their loved ones and are fully present and engaged.

People often ask me how I do it all; run a business, homeschool my children, take care of our home, take care of myself, my spouse, etc. In this episode we’re going to dive into the topic of how I do it all.

First, it’s important to dispel the myth that any of us can do everything.  

• You can do anything, but you can’t do everything.
• I believe in doing all of the IMPORTANT things, then outsourcing, reducing, and/or eliminating the rest.
• I believe in working and taking action and accomplishing things, but I don’t believe in busyness.

How to do it all:

1. Don’t do it all!
   Get help! Get as much help as you can. As your situation allows, outsource things that other people can do to enable you to do the things that only you can do. Outsource things you don’t enjoy doing. Things that take you away from things that bring you joy and fulfillment. 
2. It takes a village!
   You need other people in your life. There are people who will help for free. Drop your kids off to play with your friend’s kids so you can run some errands. There are people who’d love to come play with your kids so you could take a break or work on some other things. 
3. Multi-task!
   It’s not for everyone for every time. In caregiving times and other times when I need to be present and engaged, I’m not multitasking. But while I’m driving, walking, or doing other things that are autonomous where you could be listening to audio books, podcasts, etc.
   
4. Find Routine & Rhythm!
   We have a predictable weekly and daily flow. It drastically cuts down on power struggles throughout the day (getting out the door, meal times, getting to bed, etc). And because it’s so predictable, I have blocks of time where I know I can get my work done and schedule in my self-care. 
5. Declutter like your life depends on it!
   Because it does.Declutter both physically (in your home, office, etc) and in terms of your time/schedule.

   There are many things that don’t happen in this season in my life: I don’t answer every email, I pursue every project that comes along, and I say no to a lot of things.
   
   Everything that comes into your home and schedule needs to earn it’s place. It needs to be deserving of the energy it takes.  
   
   If there are things in our home that aren’t serving us, that are adding to the clutter, I get rid of them.
   
   If there are relationships that are draining and not bringing me joy, I let them slip away.
   
   This helps me bring my full energy and enthusiasm to the things that I’m doing and keeping in my life.
   
   I don’t watch much TV (maybe 45 min a week). I don’t go out much. I try very hard to reduce or eliminate mindless scrolling on social media.

    

6. Supreme self-care.
   If you want to bring your best to everything you do, you need to take care of yourself. Our bodies and minds need time to rest and rejuvenate. Running yourself ragged is a recipe for burnout and depression.
   
   Once you feel rested, nourished, and taken care of, then everything else flows and you can give in a way that is never a sacrifice. It just flows from you naturally.
   
   There will be days that are hard and you’ll fall into a victim mindset. But you’re responsible for your own self-care and well-being, and when you take care of yourself, the bad days will be few and far between instead of normal.  
   
   You need to stop putting yourself last. Stop putting everything and everyone else before your own well-being. When you leave your self-care for last, there’s never enough time and energy. Start making self-care a priority and schedule it in first. Then take care of others with whatever time and energy is left.

I would love to hear what you’re saying “no” to so that you can say “yes” to self-care. Take a screenshot of this podcast episode and tag me on Instagram. Tag me (@parentingjunkie) and use the hashtag #parentingjunkie, and let me know what you’re doing to reclaim self-care.

• One final tip:
  Focus on being relentlessly optimistic! Focus on gratitude, abundance, and resilience. See challenges and problems as opportunities to grow; rather than being something done to me, they’re opportunities for me.  

Resources & Links:

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• Productivity Tips for Mom
• 10 Steps You Don’t Want to Miss for More Self Care
• 10 Toys to Get Rid of Right Now