Teaching Our Kids AND Ourselves What To Do With Negative Emotions
Hi friend! Do your kids ever get angry or throw tantrums? Do YOU ever get triggered by their tantrums and lose it?
I do. We all do.
In this episode you’ll get to hear from the amazing Renee Jain of GoZen as we discuss how to “handle” emotions in both our children AND in ourselves.
- [05:37] What is GoZen in a nutshell?
- [09:20] We have to make peace with the idea that stress and difficulties are a part of our humanity.
- [09:42] Feelings aren’t good or bad. They’re neutral.
- [11:24] Create a character (a name) for each emotion (such as “Fury” for anger).
- [14:30] Emotions come and go. They’re not permanent.
- [14:44] We need to have a relationship with the [seemingly negative] emotion and see the upsides.
- [19:23] Anger/fury usually pops up for protection, or when boundaries have been crossed.
- [22:10] Don’t try to teach your children things “in the moment.”
- [22:48] We need to model what it looks like and stop trying to control our children’s emotions.
- [27:28] In those moments, try putting on your detective hat.
- [31:24] Play is so important, even when they’re throwing angry tantrums.
- [32:51] Progress should be measured in years, not days.
- [34:44] Practice or role play (outside of the moment) to teach them how they can respond differently when they’re in the moment.
- [41:21] It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
- [44:52] We can’t be afraid of feelings and try to always suppress and control them.
- [48:26] Get a stuffed animal for each of the 4 main emotions and use them for role play.
The work never really ends, but if we’ll remember that progress is measured in years and not days, that it’s a marathon and not a sprint, and implement some of the tips that Renee mentions, we’ll start to see some lasting change in ourselves and in our children.
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