Are you constantly trying to soften the blow?
Author and clinical psychologist Dr. Wendy Mogel raises the flag to the issue of OVER-EMPATHY in her book, The Blessing of the Skinned Knee:
“Well-intentioned parents are metabolizing their children’s anxiety for them.”
Are you finding yourself stuck in the cycle of metabolizing your child’s anxiety, always trying to soften the blow of life?
What happens when parents are OVERLY supportive, OVERLY empathizing, OVERLY soft, OVERLY involved?
It seems counter-intuitive at first, and even confusing on many days, but I’m here to figure it out together with you.
More and more today, we see children who are not able to separate from their parents as they grow older. I believe we can and should meet attachment and connection with limit setting and cultivate independence in a way that will serve our children well.
We want our children to be complete individuals and to go out into the world with resiliency, with a capacity to stand up to criticism, disappointment, frustrations, and when things don’t go their way.
If you feel that you are taking on your child’s anxiety and feelings, that’s the sign you may be enabling those behaviors instead of supporting your child’s resiliency.