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Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

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How To Stay Positive in Stressful Situations

When we are in the midst of stressful situations and the world is spiraling into chaos around us, it can be difficult to remember how to stay positive. It is so easy to feel completely out of control and helpless. But here’s the thing – when we give into a sense of powerlessness and of pending doom, we are actually spiraling ourselves into anxiety, fear and depression. How is that going to serve you, your kids, the medical staff or the people battling for their lives?

It’s not! We need to strengthen our mental health and our optimism because we’re the leaders of our families and our children are relying on us. Your panic, anxiety and depression only depletes you and your own ability to stay positive during this time! 

Want to learn how? Watch the video below, or keep reading! 

SIGN UP FOR THE PLAY PANDEMIC CHALLENGE FOR MORE!

Staying Positive When Trying to Cope with Stress

So how do we counterbalance all of the tragedies and the pain with a sense of optimism and staying positive? We cope with stress by understanding that the facts are just the facts, they are just the reality. Right now, the facts might be:

  • There is a worldwide pandemic.
  • Someone has lost their job. 
  • A pregnant mom, with young kids and no help is in lockdown.
  • Someone close to us is in hospital, battling for their lives.

We are not going to argue with the facts. But we are going to realize that humans are adaptable and they overcome extreme adversity, but only if they are mentally strong. Only if they realize that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger💪. And only if we maintain a sense of agency, a sense of creativity, and a sense of control. 

How to Become Optimistic

So how do we do that? We remind ourselves that:

We may not be able to control the facts of our reality, but we do get to control the stories that we tell ourselves about them.

So if the fact is that we lost our job, we can fear that we are going to starve, that we will never find another job, that we will run out of money, there will be no way to support our families, and so on. 

Or I can look at the fact that I’ve lost my job, and I can find the silver linings, finding the optimistic way of spinning this story to somehow serve me better. Maybe this is exactly the opportunity I was needing to start my own business! Or maybe I actually really wanted to simplify my life, pair things down a bit, lower my expenses, and live a more simple life where  I can spend more time with my children.

Now, both paths are justified and okay, but only one of these options is going to lead me to a sense of agency and lead me to feel mentally strong during this time.

Optimism When Dealing with Uncertainty

Feeling optimism when we are dealing with uncertainty is not some woo woo idea 🔮, and not some happy clappy unrealistic view of the world🌍.

Optimism is an equally available interpretation of the realistic and logical facts.

The way we interpret what the facts mean is up to us. You can assign meaning to this stressful situation that is positive, uplifting, and that teaches you about your strengths, your resilience and adaptability, or you can assign meaning to it that is depressing and anxiety provoking. The choice is yours. 

Crossed out words saying forced lockdown, and underneath it says family retreat.

Reframing Our Dialogue

Another reframe that I love to do is when I say I have to do something, I switch that around and I say I get to do something.

  • I have to take care of my kids today. I get to take care of my kids today. 
  • I have to fit in some work today. I get to fit in some work today. 

Right?! 🤯 It feels completely different realizing that the things that we see as burdens, as chores, are actually privileges that other people would fight tooth and nail for!

The ability to take care of our children 👶,  the ability to stay safe and sheltered 🏡, the ability to clean up our beautiful homes 🧹… these are privileges that other people wish for, and shifting that perspective reframes it so that we get to root ourselves in gratitude and optimism 🙌. 

Crossed out "I can't do this" and underneath says "I am doing this"

CHALLENGE: Find Ways to Stay Positive in these Stressful Situations

In these challenging, stressful situations we are experiencing, I challenge you to go from I can’t do it, to I am doing it. From I have to, to I get to. From this is suffering, to this is opportunity. Write out the negative thought you had before ✏️, cross it out ❌, and write your new positive thought✔️. Post a picture 📸, use the #PlayPandemic and @tag me on social – I can’t wait to see how you reframe your negative thoughts and stay positive!

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COME FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM!

If you know me (and especially if you're a Present Player) you'll know I LOVE... indoors swings! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You guys. Sensory swings have changed our lives.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Swinging is calming, and it develops gross motor skills, fine motor skills, balance, confidence, perceptual skills, core strength, and spatial awareness. The motion helps focus. And swinging supports the orientation schema (if you haven't heard of schemas in early childhood, check out my YouTube video "Schemas in Early Childhood") and the vestibular system. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My favorite swings are the Raindrop and the Trapeze from @funandfunction and the Ladder Swing from Amazon. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I get questions all the time about which swings to get and how to install - so I compiled my answers into a FREE INDOOR SWING GUIDE for you - get it on my website here or find the link in my bio @parentingjunkie www.theparentingjunkie.com/why-we-love-our-indoor-swings⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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❤️ Do you love indoor swings? Which one(s) do you have?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#indoorswing #sensoryswing #childhoodschemas #presentplay #playpandemic
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“I feel so bad about all the mistakes I made.”
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My clients have come to me feeling guilty about…⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・having a c section/birth trauma ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・misunderstanding their child’s needs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・taking too long to get a diagnosis ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・not being home enough⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・yelling or threatening⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・not co-sleeping (or for co-sleeping)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・not learning of peaceful parenting soon enough⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・letting their child cry too much⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For anyone who needs to hear this today:

✨ 1. FORGIVENESS is a great quality - practice it first and foremost to yourself.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 2. Guilt is a great INDICATOR for when we are not comfortable with something - after you’ve received this message, it loses its utility.
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✨ 3. My guess is you’ve done a hella lot of things RIGHT. If you’re choosing what to spend time reminiscing - why not reminisce about things that make you feel great about yourself?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 4. Trust that you’ve always done the BEST you could with what you had.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 5. DON’T OVERESTIMATE the power your actions had - try not to go down the over-analysis track. You really don’t know what was cause and what was effect.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 6. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE your child’s resiliency - going through some challenges (even with you), serves them in being stronger, more capable, more adaptable people.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 7. HEALING, apology, and repair are always available and children are incredibly forgiving.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 8. Your kids don’t want you to feel bad about how you parented them. Show them that whilst you are imperfect and flawed, you’re overall confident and PROUD with how you’re raising them.
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✨ 9. MODEL for your children how you own and celebrate your accomplishments more than you busy yourself in guilt with mistakes you perceive yourself to have made. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨10. Continue in comments!
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Are you spending endless hours at home? I'm with ya! All the more reason to make our homes into havens... We sit down to this table for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's taken on kilos of playdough, hundreds of family games, and dozens of date nights in.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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CLEARING SURFACES is one way I raise the vibe of my home - for me, it's essential for feeling less overwhelmed and more inspired to be present.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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★ And let me tell you about that highchair! I've had it since my first was a baby - so almost ten years (including a transatlantic move) - and it looks like new, ready for baby #5 and I'm still just as in love with it. If you're looking for a quality high chair, I put the link in my bio @parentingjunkie⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#oxohighchair #highchair #highvibehome #loveparenting #homewithkids #momof5 #oxotot
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Play is one of my favorite topics to read about, talk about, and think about. To me, play is the spice of life – the ingredient that makes any endeavor worthwhile, satisfying… fun.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But often, I hear parents or teachers say things like, “They think they’re playing, but REALLY they’re learning” to which I think: “What’s the difference?!” and further: Why isn’t playing enough? Why does there have to be a quantifiable, measurable end?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When play happens, time is forgotten - safe in the hub of imagination and authorship.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I believe that all children are born with the capacity, and the drive, to get lost in their imagination. To create worlds in which they are the masters and the directors, and in which they can truly find themselves. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Play IS the point. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(Plus, I think it’s vital for parents, too. Am I right??? Definitely helps me feel LESS overwhelmed.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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10 WAYS TO ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENT PLAY⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. Set Up a Play Zone⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Separate Screens From Play Spaces⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Don't Overpower Their Play (they're the leaders)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. Don't Hover Over Their Play (give them their space)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. Provide ONLY Age Appropriate Toys (more autonomy, less assistance needed)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
6. Examine Your Own Expectations⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
7. Keep Play Close By (off the kitchen for example)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
8. Provide Toys That's Easily Accessible (#trofast is my favorite)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
9. Treat Play As a Birthright - Not a Chore or Punishment⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
10. Don't Praise, Comment or Evaluate⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do you have tips for encouraging independent play? I would love to hear in the comments below!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Read more on the blog post + video⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/10-ways-to-encourage-independent-play/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#independentplay #playspace #presentplay #playislearning #kidsplay #kidsplaying #strewpro #habatoys #playideasforkids
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