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Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

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Call Out Culture: Calling Out vs Calling In

Have you ever been shamed or humiliated in front of people? If so, you’ve felt the all-too-familiar sting of callout culture.

Whether you were called out during school, a social event, or event online, most of us have been publicly shamed at some point. How did it make you feel? Did it make you want to change? Did it feel good? Did it feel like they had your best interest at heart? Odds are good your answer is no. 

So why do some think that it’s ok to continue this on into adulthood, especially online? 

Call Out Culture Podcast by The Parenting Junkie

In this episode, I’m going to discuss the dangers of call-out or “cancel culture” and what we can do instead. 

BRAND NEW COURSE:
DEPOLARIZE

 


DEPOLARIZE is a course and coaching experience that will help you harmonize, communicate, and connect, even with people you completely disagree with.

If you’re feeling the extremities of polarization, the pulling and tugging at the fabric of society, you are not alone.

It is real.

It is happening.

And it’s actually tearing families apart.

Learn more about how DEPOLARIZE will help your family, relationship, and friendships remain united, happy, connected, and communicative here.


 

Cancel Culture Podcast Timestamps

Use these timestamps to navigate this cancel culture podcast episode and take what you need!

[00:00] Intro

[01:53] The “callout culture” is spreading like a wild fire…even though public shaming was done away with as a legal form of punishment.

[05:37] What’s true in the micro is true in the macro.

[06:35] “How we live each day is how we live our entire lives.”

[09:10] Why do some believe you shouldn’t publicly shame children, but have no problem doing it to adults?

[10:34] The trend of publicly shaming & calling people out online.

[11:59] What child psychology tells us about public shaming. 

[14:29] Why is it ok to publicly shame adults? 

[18:47] What should we do when we see or hear something we don’t like?

[20:50] Often inaction is the “higher road” to take.

[23:20] Let’s make a culture and society that allows a margin for error.

[24:11] In the moments where you need to say something, let’s call people in.

[28:15] Let’s be curious, humble, and give others the benefit of the doubt.

[29:53] We don’t influence our children (or anyone) by attacking them or shaming them. 

 

Call-Out Culture is Toxic!

Call-Out culture is toxic and unhealthy for us, public shaming doesn’t work (and was outlawed for a reason) and people react negatively to being humiliated.

Let’s all do our part to end call out culture.

 

Subscribe to The Parenting Junkie Show Podcast

Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

Those shiny 5-star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly, they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving Parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here

 

The Parenting Junkie Courses & Resources

For more inspiration, check out these courses and resources.

1. ALCHEMIZE – Mindset Coaching Experience & Companion Course

Alchemize is my new course and coaching experience that helps you take your thoughts, fears, frustrations, and anxieties and transform them into mindsets that can actually help you become anti-fragile, resilient, confident, gritty, and abundant. 

2. Criticism vs Critique Video

When you don’t have anything nice to say… how can you say it anyway?

 

3. Love Parenting with Avital Facebook Group

Want to connect to like-minded parenting junkies? Join our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

 

4. My Brand New Course, DEPOLARIZE (Course + Coaching!)

As someone who stands firmly for unity, harmony, and the ability to hold space for each other and to coexist peacefully… I offer this mini-course to share the 10 switches that you’ve got to flip in your conversations with people that you very much disagree with.

It will not only help you to be more influential and more persuasive in your opinions but also help you to save your relationships with the people that you love, even if you completely disagree with them.

I don’t have any particular horse in any particular race on these subjects – I have very complex and nuanced opinions on all of them.

But I do have a very clear horse in the race of keeping families, relationships and friendships united, harmonized, happy, connected, and communicative. 

I look forward to seeing you on the inside >> check out DEPOLARIZE here

 

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If you know me (and especially if you're a Present Player) you'll know I LOVE... indoors swings! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You guys. Sensory swings have changed our lives.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Swinging is calming, and it develops gross motor skills, fine motor skills, balance, confidence, perceptual skills, core strength, and spatial awareness. The motion helps focus. And swinging supports the orientation schema (if you haven't heard of schemas in early childhood, check out my YouTube video "Schemas in Early Childhood") and the vestibular system. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My favorite swings are the Raindrop and the Trapeze from @funandfunction and the Ladder Swing from Amazon. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I get questions all the time about which swings to get and how to install - so I compiled my answers into a FREE INDOOR SWING GUIDE for you - get it on my website here or find the link in my bio @parentingjunkie www.theparentingjunkie.com/why-we-love-our-indoor-swings⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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❤️ Do you love indoor swings? Which one(s) do you have?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#indoorswing #sensoryswing #childhoodschemas #presentplay #playpandemic
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“I feel so bad about all the mistakes I made.”
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My clients have come to me feeling guilty about…⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・having a c section/birth trauma ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・misunderstanding their child’s needs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・taking too long to get a diagnosis ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・not being home enough⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・yelling or threatening⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・not co-sleeping (or for co-sleeping)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・not learning of peaceful parenting soon enough⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・letting their child cry too much⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For anyone who needs to hear this today:

✨ 1. FORGIVENESS is a great quality - practice it first and foremost to yourself.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 2. Guilt is a great INDICATOR for when we are not comfortable with something - after you’ve received this message, it loses its utility.
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✨ 3. My guess is you’ve done a hella lot of things RIGHT. If you’re choosing what to spend time reminiscing - why not reminisce about things that make you feel great about yourself?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 4. Trust that you’ve always done the BEST you could with what you had.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 5. DON’T OVERESTIMATE the power your actions had - try not to go down the over-analysis track. You really don’t know what was cause and what was effect.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 6. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE your child’s resiliency - going through some challenges (even with you), serves them in being stronger, more capable, more adaptable people.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 7. HEALING, apology, and repair are always available and children are incredibly forgiving.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 8. Your kids don’t want you to feel bad about how you parented them. Show them that whilst you are imperfect and flawed, you’re overall confident and PROUD with how you’re raising them.
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✨ 9. MODEL for your children how you own and celebrate your accomplishments more than you busy yourself in guilt with mistakes you perceive yourself to have made. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨10. Continue in comments!
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Are you spending endless hours at home? I'm with ya! All the more reason to make our homes into havens... We sit down to this table for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's taken on kilos of playdough, hundreds of family games, and dozens of date nights in.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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CLEARING SURFACES is one way I raise the vibe of my home - for me, it's essential for feeling less overwhelmed and more inspired to be present.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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★ And let me tell you about that highchair! I've had it since my first was a baby - so almost ten years (including a transatlantic move) - and it looks like new, ready for baby #5 and I'm still just as in love with it. If you're looking for a quality high chair, I put the link in my bio @parentingjunkie⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#oxohighchair #highchair #highvibehome #loveparenting #homewithkids #momof5 #oxotot
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Play is one of my favorite topics to read about, talk about, and think about. To me, play is the spice of life – the ingredient that makes any endeavor worthwhile, satisfying… fun.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But often, I hear parents or teachers say things like, “They think they’re playing, but REALLY they’re learning” to which I think: “What’s the difference?!” and further: Why isn’t playing enough? Why does there have to be a quantifiable, measurable end?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When play happens, time is forgotten - safe in the hub of imagination and authorship.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I believe that all children are born with the capacity, and the drive, to get lost in their imagination. To create worlds in which they are the masters and the directors, and in which they can truly find themselves. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Play IS the point. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(Plus, I think it’s vital for parents, too. Am I right??? Definitely helps me feel LESS overwhelmed.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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10 WAYS TO ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENT PLAY⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. Set Up a Play Zone⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Separate Screens From Play Spaces⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Don't Overpower Their Play (they're the leaders)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. Don't Hover Over Their Play (give them their space)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. Provide ONLY Age Appropriate Toys (more autonomy, less assistance needed)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
6. Examine Your Own Expectations⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
7. Keep Play Close By (off the kitchen for example)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
8. Provide Toys That's Easily Accessible (#trofast is my favorite)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
9. Treat Play As a Birthright - Not a Chore or Punishment⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
10. Don't Praise, Comment or Evaluate⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do you have tips for encouraging independent play? I would love to hear in the comments below!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Read more on the blog post + video⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/10-ways-to-encourage-independent-play/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#independentplay #playspace #presentplay #playislearning #kidsplay #kidsplaying #strewpro #habatoys #playideasforkids
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1 comments

One Reply to “TPJ 81: Call Out Culture: We’ve Got It All Wrong”

  1. THANX! I have found myself recently using my frustration to “call out” others a bit and have realized it is a rabbit hole that sucks you in. Your wise words were just what I needed to see what I have started doing and BACK UP and “call in” instead!

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