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Marie Forleo introduction

Hi!

I'm Avital.

You want a present, peaceful and playful family life? I'm here to help you make that a reality.

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Have you ever looked at your kids and wondered why you had them? Do you find yourself wondering why you got into this or wanting some way out at times?

 

 

Whether you’re feeling burned out or want to prevent burnout, this episode is for you. Parental burnout is a very real risk we face as parents, and if you’re experiencing it now (or have ever experienced it), you’re not alone. And if you haven’t experienced it yet…prepare yourself, because it’s inevitable unless you take these precautions.  

 

In this episode, I’m sharing what parental burnout is, why it is important to avoid, and practical steps to take to avoid burning out…here’s what you’ll hear:

 

[2:27] What is parental burnout?

 

Burnout is the mismatch between resources (emotional/physical/financial/etc) and projects we have on our plate. In other words the level of support we have compared to the level of responsibility we have.  Too much responsibility without enough sense of support will lead to burnout.

 

Unlike burnout in the workplace we cannot simply leave.  Burnout can happen no matter what parenting style you follow or scenario you are in.  No one is immune to parental burnout.

 

Have you ever felt that:
Everyday is a bad day
You’re failing every day
You’re failing your kids everyday
You’re exhausted a lot of the time
You’re always saying how tired you are
There’s a lack of joy or interest

 

If you think you may need professional help – please seek the help of a professional. If not, you might be burning out.

 

[8:31] Your warning light is on🚦

 

If you are running on empty and not recharging your batteries your body will arrange for you to “have” to rest. You’ll feel too foggy to focus or you’ll become ill or injure yourself in some way requiring you to take the rest your body needs.

 

Don’t wait for your body to force you to take a break. In that state you can feel completely stuck and drained thereby requiring even more effort to get out.

 

[14:29] One more “B” to add to Attachment Parenting

 

I think one more “B” needs to be added to the 7 Bs of attachment parenting (for more on that checkout my blog post here).  The other “B” to add is Boundaries. If you don’t set up the proper boundaries and don’t keep things in balance you will burn out.

 

[15:36] Take a Break 🏝

 

Take a break from your kids. There, I said it. Give yourself permission to take a break from them. Take a vacation, a staycation, a walk, a spa day, a girls evening in, whatever it is you need a break regularly. If you’re worried you can’t take a break because you cannot trust anyone with your kids checkout my podcast episode on that here.

 

When you are burnt out you can’t really help your kids as effectively as you can when you are at your best. If they were privy to the information you are they would say “Mom, why don’t you take a break, you deserve it and need it. We’ll be fine.”

 

Yes, you can change your mindset about errands and create a little break during those.  But, the break you really need is one focused on rest and recharging. 

 

[19:27] Get Help! (More on this in upcoming episodes!)

 

Which reason have you used? I can’t afford it. I can’t trust anyone with my kids (we covered that one here). We all need help. It truly does take a village to raise children.

 

[20:31] Just say NO!

 

Reduce your responsibilities and commitments.  Say no to things and take others that aren’t serving you off your plate.

 

Do you find saying no difficult? Give them a no sandwich! 

  • Say yes to the dream/desire
  • Say no you cannot do it
  • Say yes again to the dream/desire

For example, how to give your friend a nice no sandwich when she asks you to help her move. Say yes to dreams/desires: thank you so much for thinking of me, I normally would love to help you with that and I’m so excited for you that you’re moving. Say no you cannot: unfortunately I’m feeling really overwhelmed with my commitments right now and don’t think I’ll be able to help out. Say yes again to dream/desire: I’m so excited for you and your new place and when I’m back on my feet I would love to help out.

 

Another way to say no: cut corners.  What can you cut out that you don’t need to do anymore or at least do less often? Let your personal email go for awhile. Don’t iron your clothes. Make evites instead of paper invites. Make more simple meals. Look around and ask where can I simplify?

 

[24:11] Bundle! 💕

 

Take things you don’t like doing and match them up with things you do like doing. Maybe you don’t love doing the dishes but like doing it more when listening to an amazing podcast. Read a book that YOU love to your kids for bedtime stories (yes you, you can have a choice too). If things aren’t feeling joyful what can you add in as a treat for yourself?

 

[26:34] Talk to someone

 

Have a heart to heart with someone. Share with someone who will listen.  Just being heard by someone can go a long way to heal whatever is ailing us.

 

[27:07] Back to basics

 

Usually when we are down in one area it can snowball into other areas.  You start feeling exhausted so you tend to start eating junk foods, etc. How can you choose to snowball it in a more positive way? 

 

You are worth it. Your children are worth it. You deserve to enjoy this season of life and your kids deserve to see a parent who enjoys life and who takes good care of herself. Don’t wait until you burnout. Start taking these steps today!

If nursing happens to be one of the things causing your parental burnout  checkout my blog post on Gentle Weaning here.

 


 

If you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a selfie of you listening or a screenshot of the show, post it to instagram stories, and tag me @theparentingjunkie or feel free to DM me on instagram, I try to reply to as many as I can!


Are you subscribed to my podcast? Subscribe here so that fresh episodes are delivered directly to you.

 

Those shiny 5 star ratings and sweet reviews have me all gushy, thank you. But more importantly they help other parents discover the Parenting Junkie Show and spread the word about Loving parenting and Parenting from Love. If you have a moment to spare, those reviews mean the world to me, you can leave one here.

 


 

I would love to hear from you! Have you suffered from parental burnout? Are you currently feeling burnt out? What have you done in the past to prevent burnout? Please leave your comments below or over in our (free & awesome) FB community Love Parenting with Avital.

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If you know me (and especially if you're a Present Player) you'll know I LOVE... indoors swings! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You guys. Sensory swings have changed our lives.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Swinging is calming, and it develops gross motor skills, fine motor skills, balance, confidence, perceptual skills, core strength, and spatial awareness. The motion helps focus. And swinging supports the orientation schema (if you haven't heard of schemas in early childhood, check out my YouTube video "Schemas in Early Childhood") and the vestibular system. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My favorite swings are the Raindrop and the Trapeze from @funandfunction and the Ladder Swing from Amazon. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I get questions all the time about which swings to get and how to install - so I compiled my answers into a FREE INDOOR SWING GUIDE for you - get it on my website here or find the link in my bio @parentingjunkie www.theparentingjunkie.com/why-we-love-our-indoor-swings⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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❤️ Do you love indoor swings? Which one(s) do you have?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#indoorswing #sensoryswing #childhoodschemas #presentplay #playpandemic
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“I feel so bad about all the mistakes I made.”
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My clients have come to me feeling guilty about…⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・having a c section/birth trauma ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・misunderstanding their child’s needs⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・taking too long to get a diagnosis ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・not being home enough⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・yelling or threatening⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・not co-sleeping (or for co-sleeping)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・not learning of peaceful parenting soon enough⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
・letting their child cry too much⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For anyone who needs to hear this today:

✨ 1. FORGIVENESS is a great quality - practice it first and foremost to yourself.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 2. Guilt is a great INDICATOR for when we are not comfortable with something - after you’ve received this message, it loses its utility.
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✨ 3. My guess is you’ve done a hella lot of things RIGHT. If you’re choosing what to spend time reminiscing - why not reminisce about things that make you feel great about yourself?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 4. Trust that you’ve always done the BEST you could with what you had.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 5. DON’T OVERESTIMATE the power your actions had - try not to go down the over-analysis track. You really don’t know what was cause and what was effect.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 6. DON’T UNDERESTIMATE your child’s resiliency - going through some challenges (even with you), serves them in being stronger, more capable, more adaptable people.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 7. HEALING, apology, and repair are always available and children are incredibly forgiving.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨ 8. Your kids don’t want you to feel bad about how you parented them. Show them that whilst you are imperfect and flawed, you’re overall confident and PROUD with how you’re raising them.
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✨ 9. MODEL for your children how you own and celebrate your accomplishments more than you busy yourself in guilt with mistakes you perceive yourself to have made. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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✨10. Continue in comments!
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Are you spending endless hours at home? I'm with ya! All the more reason to make our homes into havens... We sit down to this table for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It's taken on kilos of playdough, hundreds of family games, and dozens of date nights in.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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CLEARING SURFACES is one way I raise the vibe of my home - for me, it's essential for feeling less overwhelmed and more inspired to be present.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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★ And let me tell you about that highchair! I've had it since my first was a baby - so almost ten years (including a transatlantic move) - and it looks like new, ready for baby #5 and I'm still just as in love with it. If you're looking for a quality high chair, I put the link in my bio @parentingjunkie⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#oxohighchair #highchair #highvibehome #loveparenting #homewithkids #momof5 #oxotot
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Play is one of my favorite topics to read about, talk about, and think about. To me, play is the spice of life – the ingredient that makes any endeavor worthwhile, satisfying… fun.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But often, I hear parents or teachers say things like, “They think they’re playing, but REALLY they’re learning” to which I think: “What’s the difference?!” and further: Why isn’t playing enough? Why does there have to be a quantifiable, measurable end?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When play happens, time is forgotten - safe in the hub of imagination and authorship.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I believe that all children are born with the capacity, and the drive, to get lost in their imagination. To create worlds in which they are the masters and the directors, and in which they can truly find themselves. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Play IS the point. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(Plus, I think it’s vital for parents, too. Am I right??? Definitely helps me feel LESS overwhelmed.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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10 WAYS TO ENCOURAGE INDEPENDENT PLAY⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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1. Set Up a Play Zone⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. Separate Screens From Play Spaces⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. Don't Overpower Their Play (they're the leaders)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
4. Don't Hover Over Their Play (give them their space)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. Provide ONLY Age Appropriate Toys (more autonomy, less assistance needed)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
6. Examine Your Own Expectations⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
7. Keep Play Close By (off the kitchen for example)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
8. Provide Toys That's Easily Accessible (#trofast is my favorite)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
9. Treat Play As a Birthright - Not a Chore or Punishment⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
10. Don't Praise, Comment or Evaluate⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do you have tips for encouraging independent play? I would love to hear in the comments below!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Read more on the blog post + video⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
https://www.theparentingjunkie.com/10-ways-to-encourage-independent-play/⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#independentplay #playspace #presentplay #playislearning #kidsplay #kidsplaying #strewpro #habatoys #playideasforkids
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