Present-ish → Connected
Connect with your child I have been homeschooling four kids, even since before corona was a thing – and do you know the main complaint they have had?
“You don’t spend enough time with me, mom.” – Child I’ve Been With 24/7 🤯
… wha? I am with them almost all day everyday!
But here’s the thing, as we all know – there’s being with someone and then there’s BEING with someone.
When we’re distracted by:
- our to-do list📝
- too busy picking up after them🧺
- worrying about what’s going on in the world🌎
- glued to our phones📱(I’ll be the first to raise my hand🙋)
We can literally be with them all day, but figuratively be far far away.
And they feel it.
When kids haven’t received any of our undivided attention – they continuously seek it in more and more aggravating ways by acting out and getting even clingier.
However, it’s both unrealistic and undesirable for you to be focusing your attention solely on your kids. It’s impossible. And even if it were, it would lead to major burn out for you and create a total dependency in them.
Connect With Your Child Through Presence During Caregiving Times
I want to share a tip that has helped me immensely. I learned it from Magda Gerber, the founder of RIE. She explained that we should give our undivided attention during caregiving times:
- changing diapers🚼
- wiping noses🤧
- putting to bed🛏
- getting up in the morning🌤
So, when you’re wiping a tush?🧻 Really be there for it. When you’re sitting round the table to eat?🍴Put the phone away.
I am going to put my phone away and really look into my Kiddo’s eyes today, during these caregiving times:
Repeat after me: “It’s O̶K̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ IMPOSSIBLE to be fully present with my kids all day.”
Presence During Caregiving Times will liberate you from being present-ish all day long – to filling your kids’ buckets up and giving you all some space to then part ways when necessary too.
☝️Take a screen shot & fill in when you’ll give your presence and attention and share it! 📲 #playpandemic @parentingjunkie